Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Freaky Tan Lines

Today I am not working out. There are two good reasons for this.

Reason #1 for no workout:  I am sore. The PT had his way with my yesterday. Not only did he make mince meat out of my hamstring, but he put ten needles in it (dry needling) and five more needles in my lower back. If I wasn’t so stinking tough I would have puked, fainted and cried like a baby. To keep from crying I actually did this really loud and awkward laughing thing. It was a coping mechanism I did not know I had. I hope I never do it again.

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See I wasn’t kidding. Those are slight bruises on the back of my leg. I told him next time I came I would need to bring my own anesthesia (BYOA) or pot (BYOP). Maybe I can get a prescription for medical marijuana. All I can say is all this poking and prodding better help or there is a good chance I will give up running and start crocheting bathing suits.

There is exactly three people on the face of the earth that this would look good on. But even their tan lines would make them look like they had a scary disease.

Overall, I will say that since starting PT I am doing better. It is tough to single out one thing that is working because I have changed up several things. Kind of like when you get pregnant, but have been sleeping around and don’t know who the dad is (not that this has ever happened to me).

  • I am not running much on roads and sticking to trails and the treadmill. Softer surfaces = happier body.
  • I am doing very specific stretches and doing them diligently.
  • I’ve been strengthening my ass and other things (big toe, belly button tissue).
  • I’ve added a small lift à la George Costanza to my right shoe to help correct a leg length discrepancy.
  • I’ve been working on form issues – especially keeping my cadence at 180 steps per minute. This helps my feet to land under my center of gravity and hopefully on my mid foot. It also lessens overall impact.

Reason #2 for no workout:  Today I am going on an all day field trip with Emma’s 5th grade class. This is seriously the Cadillac of all field trips. There is a special mini- town called “Young AmeriTowne”  that has been created just for field trips. The kids each have jobs within the town (Emma is a DJ – she is so going to rule the town with Grease Lightening and Party Rock Anthem), and they are given debit cards to buy things with money they earn.

I interviewed the kids for the different jobs they applied for. It was the funnest (shut up, that is a word) thing I have done in a long time. I asked one kid why she thought she was qualified to be a doctor – “Because I have played doctor many times,” she said. Fair enough. Hired!

The whole thing is to teach kids about how to use money wisely. There will be lessons in free enterprise and the economy. It is genius. I wish someone would have taught me this crap. Then I would not have had thousands of dollars of credit card debt when I was about five years old. Should never have invested in that Barbie van with the hammock!

I am not sure what my role is today, but they did say (and I’m not kidding) chaperones have to “Refrain from any activity that might affect the AmeriTowne economy such as encouraging or instigating a bank robbery or labor strike or stealing or starting a boycott.”

Don’t even provoke me. I am SO going to rob a bank and start a riot. I’ll call it “Occupy AmeriTowne”! A couple years ago I went on a field trip with my son’s class and got yelled at by the bus driver for trying to make the trucks honk (remember that up/down motion you do with your bent arm??). Everyone is so serious these days. Lighten up, Francis!

I feel gypped. The best field trip I ever went on was to the Air and Space Museum in D.C.. We left some kid there by mistake. It was me. Just kidding. It wasn’t, but we really did leave someone there. I think he’s still waiting for a ride.

This is my best-mom-field-trip look:

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What was your best or most nightmarish field trip growing up?

Have you been to PT before? If so, did it help or not?

Do you crotchet, knit, embroider, quilt or sew? My mom is a huge and very talented quilter and sewer. I am not. 

Ever have a pregnancy scare and not know who that dad was? You don’t have to answer that.

SUAR

54 comments:

  1. Fracture for Boston anyone? Stay tuned...it could be me! Grrr...Yes, I've seen the physical therapist and massage therapist a LOT lately! I feel like ground beef. http://carpcorner.blogspot.com/2012/02/hoping-for-best.html

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  2. Your post is awesome. AmeriTowne sounds very interesting...I doubt we have anything like that here in Calgary.

    My best field trip was to a pasta factory in Vancouver when I was six. I still remember all the pasta machines making their shapes, but I remember mostly being in a group with 3 very popular boys. Dunno how that happened.

    Funny you ask about PT...got that for the first time on my wrist. Handsome young guy, nice wrist massage, ultrasound treatment. Then he gave me 2 wrist exercises and nearly killed me with it.

    I learned to knit but that's gone by the wayside. One day I need to quilt, got a Dr Seuss quilt for Evie and she's already 3!

    No pg scare...when Evie was born (only pg) no one ever had to ask about the dad...coz she was the spittin' image of my hubby!

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  3. Flipping question to worst field trip: visit to a bee hive in which one classmate got too close, freaking the bees, who turned en masse and swarmed our class, stinging every single kid at least 4 times - one kid had 17 stings. Sort of awesome now that I look back (and since no one died from the stings) I was stung in the cheek and remember going to church with a massively swollen face and loving all the attention I got. Good times, good times.

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    1. It's not funny, but then it kind of is!

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  4. That sounds like such a fun field trip! Cool that you get to tag along. Kids have better EVERYTHING now-a-days. (I feel old for saying that)

    Have fun!

    Keep up that big toe and belly button strengthening!

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  5. Awesome post. My favorite field trip was to the beaches in Maine where we found starfish, sea urchins, etc. It was great to be outside and in the different pools.

    My sister, best friend and Aunt are all physical therapists. I joke to them that they are glorified massage therapists - but I call them every other day for PT help :)

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  6. That sounds like an awesome field trip! Kind of jealous...

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  7. That's the coolest field trip ever! I don't remember ever going on any field trips other than to the zoo or the water park, although I almost drowned at the water park...no fun!

    Can you please weigh in on the Biggest Loser last night and what's gonna happen next week? I love to hear your point of view!

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  8. Worst field trip: My class had to visit a health education center at the age when our bodies were "changing" to learn about babies, sex, periods, the clap. It was a great time in my 7th grade life. There is nothing like sitting next to the boy I like looking at pictures of herpes. As if that age wasnt awkward enough.

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  9. Some of those swim suits are ridiculous. I think the same thing, they may look call when you are laying there, but the tan lines would be ridiculous! Crazy people.

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  10. Young Ameritowne is so much fun. Have a good time! 7th grade is International Towne.

    Been to PT for three different issues and it did not help me, so I will never go back. Too expensive for someone to massage me for 5/10 minutes and then show me how to do squats to strengthen my butt. Really? And I know my PT was well respected in the community, so I'm not really sure what a good one can do? He was good, apparently! I can have a personal trainer and a full hour massage 3 x a week for what it cost to go once a week to PT. I also had one session of needling and the needles in my back reminded me of constant epidurals over and over and over and over.... also didn't work for me. What did work for me that healed me was stretching (how easy it is and how hard it is to get done), yoga and strength training at the gym and good old fashioned time, which is the worst form of recovery for an impatient athlete. Good luck!

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  11. I grew up in the DC area so I had a field trip to almost every Smithsonian at least once, but my favorite field trip was to the National Zoo with my art class so we could draw the animals.

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  12. That AmeriTowne sounds amazing!! What a fun field trip!

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  13. Bring a tent and a generator for your Occupy time! Make sure you let them all know you're not leaving unless you're in handcuffs, too! Make sure you have a Reagan mask for the bank robbery, they'll never know you did it!
    I am in PT right now. It sucks and is awesome all at the same time. I am not running right now. That sucks. My PT stretched me like pulling a wishbone the other day. That was awesome. I'm on week 2 of 3 and hope to be running again when it's all over. Hope.
    My grandmother was a seamstress and taught me English smocking and other various knitting and sewing techniques. That said, my children will never have hand made clothing unless they grow a third arm or leg, or decide to wear pillow cases.

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  14. I want to got to AmeriTowne! It sounds like fun. I went to a Catholic school elementary school and we did things that were a little, um, different. We were learning about death and grief, so they took us to a funeral home. I remember the funeral director as a warm, kind, jovial man who demystified what takes place after someone dies and talked with us about coping with grief. The funeral home was in a beautiful old house too, so that was cool. It was a great field trip.

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    1. I think a funeral home, if done right, would be an amazing experience!

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  15. Knit. Just simple, mindless things that don't require following a detailed pattern which makes it relaxing.

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  16. I crochet, but not bathing suits.. I will absolutely try to make one for you if you'd like, but you'd have to promise to post pictures - Muah-ha-ha-ha-ha (evil laugh)

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  17. Have you tried running in say, combat boots? You get the increased height of a lift, with the bonus benefit of really cool mid-calf tan lines that would accentuate the mosaic pattern left by the crochet swim suit.

    I'm just here to help. Really.

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    1. I am so doing that. Anything to draw attention to myself.

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  18. That field trip sounds fun! The bus rides are such a nightmare though. SO loud! I always take a couple of Advils beforehand just in case:) My mom sewed all the time growing up. Very crafty. Me, not so much. My sewing experience consists of an apron and a pillow in Home-Ec (not called that anymore).

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    1. I am a wuss. I always drive, never take the bus.

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  19. Best field trip was Disneyland in the 8th grade.

    PT helped so much that, 2 years later, I still see my PT for working out.

    I can crochet, embroider and sew if I had to. I don't have to so I usually don't.

    My son, who is all of 24 and single, has the "Dad face" down to an art form. It freaks out my 8 year old grandson...

    Cheers.

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  20. Your posts just make my day every time. Thanks for the laughs!!!
    Just a side note my 80+ yr old grandmother loves to wear crocheted tops with push up bras...which is why I am opposed to all crochet clothing.

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  21. I have the day off from work and I'm sitting here with coffee, so I answered all of your questions and wrote you a short book doing so.

    I'm sure there was a field trip where something good went on, but at the moment I can only remember the ones where kids cried or peed their pants.

    In my teens I went to the PT far too many times. My mom called me "the poster child of our insurance company." I tore almost every ligament in my right ankle in a basketball game at 16. It was gnarly, I had to take four weeks off from basketball. After I rolled my ankle it didn't hurt that bad, so I finished the game and went home. The next day it was black/blue from my toes half way up the outside of my shin. Other than ice and the alphabet stretches they couldn't do much for it. They tried the electrotherapy thing where they try to stimulate the muscles a couple of times, but when the PT was cranking up the dial, he said "tell me when it's uncomfortable for you," it never got uncomfortable. Maybe it helped, I don't know. That injury is all good now, except for this weird bump from scar tissue.

    Second one, I ran my head into a fallen tree while on a four wheeler going approx. 30mph. Again, I said "owe" and continued to play all day. Next day, I couldn't move my neck as much to life my head off of my pillow. Had to get x-rays, blah, blah, blah... a concussion, compressed spine, "seriously strained back muscle," and four bruised vertebrae later I was in PT a couple times a week for a few weeks. It took three visits of all this weird (enjoyable) massaging to get the muscle to relax. The PT was sweating from all the massaging (ha-ha). I walked away with the best prescription I've had to date. My mom had to massage my neck and shoulders every night for 15-20 minutes. I had to rest the neck and do some exercises. Everything is fine now, except the muscle between my shoulder blade and spine gets tight from time to time, so I just make my fiancé massage it.

    Third, I strained my quad. I have no idea how, during track practice sometime. Went to PT, more exercises and I had to wrap my whole thigh with an ace wrap and then some special brace for the rest of the season. It's all good now. I also did something to my hip flexor. Same year? I dunno. It got better as well. It will feel a bit sore if I do an exercise excessively that uses the hip flexor, but it's not very often.

    So here I am "robo leg." I'm doing hurdles, sprints, and triple jump with an ace bandage around my waist down to the groin/quad area, with a black brace covering the thigh, a knee brace, and my ankle taped - all on my right leg. It's okay though, thanks to the PT I still won everything and even set school records. Until, senior year, then everything started to catch up with me. Now I'm like you and stick to running trails and the beach.

    I didn't go to PT for the torn ligament in my thumb or broken collar bone. They both bug me sometimes. You can punch me in the collar bone and it won't hurt, but for some reason my seatbelt will touch it just right and it feels like I have a bruise there. Then sometimes I'll be sitting still and "ZAP" a nerve in there sends this weird shock from my collar bone down my shoulder like I hit an electric fence. Thanks to the torn ligament in the thumb, I can't grip as hard with that hand and if I use the thumb too much, for instance giving a massage, it gets a terrible cramp in it. I'm 25 now, so it's been almost 10 years since all of the injuries, hopefully age won't make them surface.

    I sew. Mainly my own outdoor wear and backpacking gear. I found that I can get the same or better fabric used in $300+ outdoor products for $15-20/yard, so I learned to sew. I'm also learning leather craft, so I'll being sewing horse saddles and that kind of stuff on an industrial machine one of these days.

    No baby daddy's in this life.

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    1. Okay great stories. You officially win the prize for my longest comment received ever. Where do I send your crotcheted bathing suit?

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    2. LOL That's okay, you can keep it. I'll donate it back to you.

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  22. Laughed all the way through this one! Glad you are getting some relief--you certainly are putting in the time to see results. Keep the mojo going.

    HoCo schools still do the Air and Space Museum trip. The ones I hate are to bad theater. Every year it seems I get roped into chaperoning one of those. There is a Mt. Vernon trip for my son this year, though, so hoping to do that.

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  23. My three kids all went to AmeriTowne. Loved it. They all got jobs suited to them. Oldest was a bank manager. She now is a writer and very political outspoken. But she loves numbers. She's one of those people who has talent both right and left brain. *jealous* Unfortunately she does occasionally use it for evil. ;)

    Middle child also got bank manager, he just freakin' loves money. We thought that was perfect for him.

    Oldest child was born grown up. He was the President. Yep.

    Cadillac of field trips is the best way to describe it. My kids looked forward to it all year. I hope you have a great time and I laughed out loud at Occupy AmeriTowne. Hilarious.

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  24. Best trip was Ontario Science Centre when it was new and cool. Worst I don't even remember where we went but the bus ride was from hell. Kids were sick, the bus driver went ballistic on us, though I guess multiple rounds of "99 bottles of beer on the wall" will do that. There was a fist fight on the bus, not counting the incident with the driver. And that's not even the worst bus trip of my life, not even close.

    P T yes. Several times. Mostly they are mean little women with a nasty UK accent. Best one, for my elbow, was a girl nearly my size with a nice Scots accent. She made me cry several time, in the nicest possible way, apologizing as she did so.

    No to the fibre arts, though I and all the other guys suspect your tan lines from that suit would look just fine.

    No pregnancy scare.

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  25. I do not knit, cross stitch, sew, etc. My grandmother actually taught me when I was young, but gave up as she could tell I was a lost cause. I have no patience for that sort of thing.

    I have been to PT and I have learned so many great things from him that I still incorporate into my workout routines on a weekly basis. My SI joint issues cause me all sorts of problems with hips, glutes, etc, but strength and stretching has really helped me. I have a weak butt too.

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  26. Sorry you are in PT and getting stuck. Have you ever tried Bikram yoga? After years of resisting (I AM NOT A YOGA PERSON) I went and it was like MAGIC. And tough enough of a workout for runners to appreciate. Anyway, it is way more about strengthening weak areas/imbalances than it is about bending/stretching. I highly recommend.
    Hope you are better and running everything again soon.

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    1. Yep, being doing yoga for years and Bikram for the past 2 years. It does help some.

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  27. I went to STYM therapy for my IT Band. I think it helped a little. The final bill was $500. Yeah, I don't think it helped that much.

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  28. AmeriTowne sounds like a GREAT field trip!

    My most memorable field trip was the non-field trip. I was in Gr. 1, and was pretty excited for my field trip. With my hair in two cute little buns, I arrived at the school and the yard was empty. I was late for school, and had missed the bus for the field trip. I was so bummed. (I don't know what the cute little buns have to do with it, but I do remember them....perhaps the fancy hairdo was what made me late??)

    Hope all those pokes with the needles does your body good!

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  29. YAY best field trip mom ever - but seriously - that face had me craacking up. not so mean are ya? ;)
    Last field trip I went on with peanut - I got puked on by the poor little boy sitting behind me.

    puke in hair = free bus ride back home for me.
    HOLY gross.

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    1. That is my worst nightmare. I never take the bus anymore.

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  30. I do not do anything crafty with fabric, I can, but don't. I have never been to PT either, hubs has quite a few times but I'm not so cool. I never had a horrible field trip as a kid, I don't really remember any of them. I've been on quite a few since the girls started school, the only bad was driving over 4 hours (one way) on a school bus sitting with 2 third graders in the same seat, not so fun!

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  31. That's a "setting 'em straight" look....LOL!!!!

    No great field trip stories for me. I hope my son will have some great ones that I can go on.

    I had PT for my shoulder and would have to say it worked. Although I don't do my exercises regularly anymore, I can tell when it is starting to irk me and will get right on them to prevent total immobility of my arm. I loved the days I went in and they would put the heat pack on and I got to take a nice little 15-20 nap with a nice massage after. But I cursed the ice days because the torture seemed worse on cold muscles.

    Haven't quilted in a long time but made a very nice baby quilt for a friend way back when.

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  32. My fifth grade field trip was to the local water treatment plant. The only memorable thing about it was that the crazy bus driver kept hammering the guy who was showing us around with questions about how clean the water really was and how she knew there were contaminants in the supply and why aren't they doing something about it. From the way she was acting, she might have been right.

    I've never been to the PT but I am seriously considering it right now. I've been out for a month due to what feels like an adductor strain, but it's not improving at all and I also feel it in my lower abs. Boo.

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  33. I'm sorry but Labor Strikes are a big part of life and will teach those kids about money. Start a union of DJs and let Emma be the President and when the wages aren't fair and their insurance doesn't cover the bunion removal they will know to strike. Do it. Do it.

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  34. My first field trip was to the Fernbank Science Center in Atlanta, GA. We went to the planetarium and learned about the constellations, stars, etc. They turned all the lights off, let us kick back in these huge chairs and turned on the SKY. It was awesome! I think I was in fourth grade....

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  35. my pt dry needles me all the time and it's this weird "i welcome the pain because it's helping but goshdarn it hurts so bad i want to hurl" kinda thing. i get along with my pt really well so we'll be chatting away and she'll hit a good one and then i'll let out a huge groan and then just keep talking. ha! i always wonder what the people in the room next to us think.

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  36. The teachers like when I chaperone cuz I can make that same face.

    Best field trip ever…Alcatraz Island the year it opened to the public. Still decrepit and WAY creepy.

    And yes to all the rest.

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  37. In 8th grade we got kicked off of old ironsides in Boston (Charlestown really) because someone dropped a snapper that went off in front of the Marines that run the boat.....the snappers, of course, were bought at the Bunker Hill exhibit gift shop. Don't let that happen - had to go hang out in the shipyard museums instead.

    I used come back from my rolfing looking like that....but it worked!

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  38. PT always helps me but then the local PT's are all friends and runners/bike riders who know the issues that we tend to have. On top of that, most of us around these parts are current or past whitewater rafting guides and again, so are the PT's. I once had one tell me that raft guides have 17 pressures points in their butts that cause problems to which I laughed. She then proceeded to release all 17 points in my butt and I did feel significantly better. Never doubt the power of the PT!

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  39. PT? Yup, for my partially torn abductor. I still do PT exercises and the injury still limits my runs in both speed and length. The PT has definitely helped, though!
    I've never knitted, crocheted, or anything like that. I would, however, wear that bathing suit for sh*ts and giggle! It'd make an interesting tan line. Though, with all my hair (except my head...) it probably would look solid on me. Try NOT to picture that...haha! made you think!

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  40. Girl, i have a leg length discrepancy too...right leg is shorter too. My PT told me to get a heel lift but my running store peeps said no way, that would just give you more injuries so I didn't get one. I have an SI Joint Dysfunction caused by my right leg being a little bit shorter....I just self correct when I feel it...and go on with my training....good luck with all your PT

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  41. Worst field trip... eeek! I still have anxiety attacks about the EVIL old witchy woman at the Massey school in historic Savannah, Ga. She used to make up these horrible rhymes to scare us into being good.

    And I ADORE my PT!! He's SO cute (kinda fine, actually) and he always rewards me with one of those electric stim massages. YUM....

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  42. Well I think I'd look hot in that suit. Tan lines and all. I think I'll crochet one. I do crochet; in fact, I do all needlecraft and I designed and sewed my wedding dress. I like sewing but I really like designing more.

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  43. Worst field trip? To the sewage treatment plant, they make all 4th graders go to it here. was just talking to my niece about how awful it was when I went (the smell!!!) but she 1 upped me by saying that there was a dead squirrel laying on the steps as they walked in. Ahh such fun. Now her little brother is terrified of going!

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  44. Air and Space Museum is the Best! Did you get to see "To Fly"? I, also, went to a bunch of Smithsonian museums on field trips. If you ever get back there the best place for a field trip(but not for very young kids) is the Holocaust Museum.
    I know what you mean about not knowing what's working for treatment. It probably all helps, but I think good form and running on trails are the best. And cheapest.

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  45. I went to PT for a long (LONG) time...8 months for what was diagnosed as Piriformis syndrome. I don't think it really helped...I'd feel good for a few hours only to be in pain again.

    I've been seeing a chiropractor for a month now and I've already noticed a change...for the better. We've done many different things (adjustments to my back (upper and lower) along with a lot of different things for my hamstring injury...the pain is near my butt (cold laser therapy, ultrasound followed by heat and electrostim therapy). I've definite improvement in my hamstring since starting the chiro therapy. It might be worth a shot for you.

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