Title Change: The Biggest Bully

Something smells. The Biggest Loser house has gone sour. The way the social game is being played this season make me cringe, makes me sick. The dynamics perfectly exemplify what happens when people lose perspective, when people lose focus. This nonsense is being played out on a reality show, which is appropriate since the “reality” of what is going on is far too common.

While watching young and immature Conda talk behind people’s backs, play people against one another, encourage players to gang up on others, all the while waving her finger and moving her head with the utmost of attitude, I am reminded of being in fourth grade at recess. I had my own personal bully and she was oddly similar to Conda. She was physically big, larger than life. She was unpredictable. She was good at rallying her minions in her favor. She twisted people’s actions and told lies about them. She manipulated. She came to school to be the boss, to be in charge and to be mean. She never came to learn.

In hindsight, my bully (who later actually became a good friend and who I’m still in touch with thanks to Facebook), clearly had to dominate others because she needed control and power. Maybe she felt helpless at home, who knows. All I know is that I went to school each day afraid and distracted from other friendships and from learning.

The parallel between what happened to me at school (and what happens to millions of other kids at school)m and what is going on in the Biggest Loser house is evident. What makes it more shocking, however, is that this is being played out by adults. Adults who have been picked from hundreds of thousands of people to have the opportunity to be part of the transformative experience of losing weight and losing age-old poor habits. They have the chance to dig into issues of their past that might have caused them to gain weight. They have two of the best trainers in the world and all of the tools to be successful without the distractions of children, jobs, real life. Being on the Biggest Loser is and should be a gift.

How can it be, then, that so many of the contestants have lost perspective? Just like my personal bully did not come to school to learn but to dominate, these players seem to not be showing up to lose weight, but to seek revenge, to be at the top of the social hierarchy. The fact that the entire team was willing to actually gain weight (or lose such a small amount in was embarrassing) just to oust another player shows that complete perspective has been lost. They should all be ashamed on many levels, but mostly because each of those people committed the worst crime. Each of them let their own selves down. They have to live with that.

I am not getting into the fact that Daphne made some odd choices or that she might have stooped to a certain level as well. I simply wanted to point out what happens when people unite in negativity. A dark cloud descends, light gets pushed out and poor decisions are made. People’s feelings get hurt, the ultimate goal of healing is lost. Just in how we saw the power of coming together in goodness when we did the Virtual Run for Sherry, we now see the consequences of connecting based on fear and hate. It is ugly. It never ends well. I believe it’s not what we’re on this planet to do with one another.

By the way, Conda – you stated that you are setting a good example for your daughter while being on the show. You should be ashamed. All you have shown your daughter is how to manipulate others to get what you want. Not a skill to be proud of.

What have been your impressions of the Biggest Loser this season?

SUAR

If you are not being bullied all I would say - cause I like to talk about the other side of it as well - is you know, be someone that nurtures, and if there's someone in your class that maybe doesn't have a lot of friends, be the person that sits with them in the cafeteria sometimes; be the bigger person – Lady Gaga