I have a confession. Don’t you love my confessions? Sometimes they are things like “I run with scissors,” and other times they involve the smallest of sharts.
Today’s confession is this: I honestly thought you guys were going to call me a pussy when I told you about my experience at masters swim yesterday. I thought you might tell me I needed too much coddling and needed to put on my big girl panties. But you didn't. You came to my defense just when I needed it most and for that I thank you.
Today when I left my spin class I picked up the newest “Competitor” magazine. On the front cover is the enticing and relevant headline, “ Conquer Your Fear of Masters Swimming.” And inside, I found this tidbit about going to your first class:
Hmmm…didn't quite go that way. But, it is time to move on from all of this and find another class or at least join a fourth grade swim team. Because I would kick all of their asses.
The kids are out of school for summer. We are done. What the hell? We used to go to school from Memorial Day until Labor Day. Kids have it so easy these days. I also used to crawl to school pulling a 200 pound wagon of cow manure to put on the farm fields next to the school. Naked. In snowstorms. Without any arms or legs (Matt? Bob?). No coddling here.
I am popping the sedatives, getting ready for lots of condensed family togetherness. Truth be told, I joke about the hardships of being a mother, but I really like being around my kids most of the time. And usually they like being around me. Or so they say. I don't know what they tell their therapists behind my back.
Today my son had his 7th grade picnic. I broke into dance when I walked into a classroom where some girls were doing that Xbox Kinnect dance thing. Sam said, “Mom, please don’t dance,” knowing full well that I would. And I did. Life is too short to not dance and not embarrass children.
Then I did fart while walking with my son and his friend to the car. Get used to it. It’s summer. I fart all day long. It hurts too much to hold it. Today in spin class I had to get out of the seat on a downhill to fart. I just acted like I always did that.
Last night a film festival at school. Sam walked the red carpet in his red velour thrift store suit. We’re all class around here.
I want YOU to dare to wear this jacket.