Friday, May 13, 2011

Typos ‘n Stuff

Stinking Blogger. What the hell? Deleted posts, comments. I look at it this way: I have been blogging and using this “free” service since 2009 and this is the first time this has happened, so cutting them a little slack. Sometimes I am nice. But, you can’t see me giving them finger right now, so that’s good.

1. Some of you made fun of me for the typo I had in my last post. At least when I make typos they are humorous. Instead of saying “minimalist shoes” I said “minimalist hoes.” What you didn’t understand, Barefoot Neil, was I meant to do that.

Minimalist Hoes (MH) don’t get enough attention. They are the prostitutes who take very little money from you, and provide very minimalist services. For example, you pay a regular ho $100 and you get an hour long session with fancy lotions and moaning. But, pay a MH $20 and you get a 10 minute session with a ho wearing Vibrams and using only her hand slathered in vegan oil olive to pleasure you. It’s the new “green” trend of hookers. Get with it already.

2. The apple tried to fall from the tree but got stuck in the branches and is destined to be there forever. My son, 13, just made this for his music tech class. If you are a country woman, you will really enjoy this. Priceless.



3. Remember how I agreed to walk dogs at the Humane Society every week with dog lover Emma because I am a good mom? Well, yesterday Emma locked me in  a room with a 150 lb. Pitbull named Handsome. She was playing with the lock while I wrestled and leashed up Handsome with his spikey throat collar. By mistake she bolted me in and couldn’t get it unlocked. She should be in a time out for the rest of her life at least. I know Pitbulls have supposedly gotten a bad rap and they are the new Bassett Hound, apparently, but I’m still scared of them. I just don’t buy this gentle giant stuff.

That’s all I got. Isn’t it enough?

SUAR

15 comments:

  1. Love 'Country Woman', way to go Sam!!

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  2. "minimalist hoes" almost made me pee my pants laughing. Poor, underappreciated girls. At least it's Vibrams and not Birkinstocks and unshaved armpits.

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  3. Minimalist hoes are always getting such a bad rap. Everyone's gotta eat, right? I'm pretty sure i LOL'd at work when I read that one. Big dogs scare me......but the Pit always looks so angry. Can't we all just get along?

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  4. I love dogs, but they do make me nervous... I would NOT be cool with that situation! Glad he didn't bite your head off!

    And yes, the blogger issues are infuriating. I hope they find all of the lost posts & comments...

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  5. i am going to have that song in my head all day.
    high five sam--COUNTRY!!!

    love the MH's :)

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  6. kudos to Sam! I can totally hear Toby Keith singing that.

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  7. omg, that song, lol. Sam is awesome. I think he needs his own blog.

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  8. Aw your kids are sweet. HAHA, minimalist hoes!

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  9. omg i love that song. you should make cds. seriously.

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  10. Pretty awesome song! Your son totally cracks me up... I just wish we had a visual to go with that performance.

    Pitbulls... unless they are little teeny puppies... no. They freak me out.

    And I knew that wasn't a typo. I know you are all about promo for the ho.

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  11. I dated minimalists hoes in high school. But they weren't minimalist hoes yet as they hadnt transitioned from the thick padding that regular hoes use. They were only using thick padding because that is what all the hoe magazines told them they needed.

    I still think anyone starting out or dabbling in minimalist hoes, should just go straight to the bare hoes and enjoy nature as it was inteded to be felt.

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  12. Sadly, when I read your last post and saw "minimalist hoes". I didn't even think of it as a typo. I thought that with the economic decline Vegas was having to cut back a little.

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  13. Blogger doesn't want me to learn about Minimalist Hoes...perhaps you could repost? They're so elusive and fringy! I need to know more.

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  14. Minimalist hoes is cracking me up over here...

    Good for you and Emma for volunteering! Animals are my thing. And pitties are my favorite. :) I've got one teddy bear of pit bull myself, and he is the biggest wuss you will ever meet!

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