Typos ‘n Stuff

Stinking Blogger. What the hell? Deleted posts, comments. I look at it this way: I have been blogging and using this “free” service since 2009 and this is the first time this has happened, so cutting them a little slack. Sometimes I am nice. But, you can’t see me giving them finger right now, so that’s good.

1. Some of you made fun of me for the typo I had in my last post. At least when I make typos they are humorous. Instead of saying “minimalist shoes” I said “minimalist hoes.” What you didn’t understand, Barefoot Neil, was I meant to do that.

Minimalist Hoes (MH) don’t get enough attention. They are the prostitutes who take very little money from you, and provide very minimalist services. For example, you pay a regular ho $100 and you get an hour long session with fancy lotions and moaning. But, pay a MH $20 and you get a 10 minute session with a ho wearing Vibrams and using only her hand slathered in vegan oil olive to pleasure you. It’s the new “green” trend of hookers. Get with it already.

2. The apple tried to fall from the tree but got stuck in the branches and is destined to be there forever. My son, 13, just made this for his music tech class. If you are a country woman, you will really enjoy this. Priceless.

3. Remember how I agreed to walk dogs at the Humane Society every week with dog lover Emma because I am a good mom? Well, yesterday Emma locked me in  a room with a 150 lb. Pitbull named Handsome. She was playing with the lock while I wrestled and leashed up Handsome with his spikey throat collar. By mistake she bolted me in and couldn’t get it unlocked. She should be in a time out for the rest of her life at least. I know Pitbulls have supposedly gotten a bad rap and they are the new Bassett Hound, apparently, but I’m still scared of them. I just don’t buy this gentle giant stuff.

That’s all I got. Isn’t it enough?

SUAR