Friday, May 13, 2011

Typos ‘n Stuff

Stinking Blogger. What the hell? Deleted posts, comments. I look at it this way: I have been blogging and using this “free” service since 2009 and this is the first time this has happened, so cutting them a little slack. Sometimes I am nice. But, you can’t see me giving them finger right now, so that’s good.

1. Some of you made fun of me for the typo I had in my last post. At least when I make typos they are humorous. Instead of saying “minimalist shoes” I said “minimalist hoes.” What you didn’t understand, Barefoot Neil, was I meant to do that.

Minimalist Hoes (MH) don’t get enough attention. They are the prostitutes who take very little money from you, and provide very minimalist services. For example, you pay a regular ho $100 and you get an hour long session with fancy lotions and moaning. But, pay a MH $20 and you get a 10 minute session with a ho wearing Vibrams and using only her hand slathered in vegan oil olive to pleasure you. It’s the new “green” trend of hookers. Get with it already.

2. The apple tried to fall from the tree but got stuck in the branches and is destined to be there forever. My son, 13, just made this for his music tech class. If you are a country woman, you will really enjoy this. Priceless.



3. Remember how I agreed to walk dogs at the Humane Society every week with dog lover Emma because I am a good mom? Well, yesterday Emma locked me in  a room with a 150 lb. Pitbull named Handsome. She was playing with the lock while I wrestled and leashed up Handsome with his spikey throat collar. By mistake she bolted me in and couldn’t get it unlocked. She should be in a time out for the rest of her life at least. I know Pitbulls have supposedly gotten a bad rap and they are the new Bassett Hound, apparently, but I’m still scared of them. I just don’t buy this gentle giant stuff.

That’s all I got. Isn’t it enough?

SUAR

17 comments:

  1. I'm so behind on trends--minimalist hoes included. Thanks for catching us up.
    Also--would die being trapped in a room with a giant Pitbull.

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  2. Blogger claims they are putting back the posts they took down. I have yet to see evidence of this....

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  3. Scary with the dog! And the whole time I would be thinking, "They can SMELL YOUR FEAR!" Panic would have ensued.

    Minimalist Hoes. Gotta laugh. Did you see this? http://www.coloradodaily.com/ci_18046376?source=most_emailed#axzz1MFsDyfsZ Christopher McDougall got ticketed in Boulder for... running barefoot. Hopefully the judge won't hit him with that new $10K pimping fine they have.

    Also? Blogger got a big groan from me. Luckily, I have every post emailed in its entirety to me when it's published, so I was able to republish. Did nothing for the comments, though.

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  4. If it makes you feel any better I did not notice you said minimalist hoes.

    Pitbulls are cute. But they still scare me. Although its really the little dogs to worry about. I almost got bit by a pug when I was out for a run once.

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  5. "And not by a little bit baby" ... I think I am in love. I love the way he misspelled gutiar as an homage to mom.

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  6. As a pitbull owner I just want to say that to judge a dog based on how it looks is no different than judging a person for the same thing.

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  7. Gofer - not judging for how the dog looks. Just judging based on Pitbull maulings being the only cause of death to humans by dogs that I know of around here. Maybe I'm misinformed or this is just media madness.

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  8. I volunteered at a humane society and it only lasted three weeks. I was late one day and forgot my tennis shoes and I went ahead and wore flip flops..you know how dirty the kennels are...and a dogs nail gave me the worlds ugliest scratch. It took weeks to heal. I worried about it getting infected and my foot falling off. I still feel guilty for not keeping it up. Soooooo....Good for you!!! I hope you have better luck and sorry you got locked in. Kinda funny..now???

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  9. Hey I'm posting to see if you see me!!

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  10. I think I may have just pee'd myself from laughter at that video. That kid is hilarious.

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