Friday, August 26, 2011

Job Slut

My kids don’t do, eat, or enjoy many of the things that I did as a kid. For some reason they don’t like getting up to change the channel on the TV, preferring these things called “remotes.” And, Emma has no desire to have a Dorothy Hamill haircut: WEIRD!

But, there is some common ground. In the same way I did, they like sugary cereal, cartoons, having a lemonade stand and acting like they didn’t hear their mom when she told them to not shove shit under their beds.

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Taken today. One of Sam’s drawers.

Perhaps the hugest stand-out in the world of “what I liked as a child and my kids like too” is the infamous 7-11 Slurpee. I don’t know if it’s the allure of the frosty, corn syrupy, artificially colored mystery liquid, the plastic bubble lid, the spoon straw or the fact that they can mix and match all the fancy flavors like cherry-kiwi  and Mountain Dew mania. But, I loved those concoctions, and my kids do too. Man, I just crave that red food coloring #3. Causes thyroid tumors in rats.

Whatever the case, I took Sam, age 13, to the orthodontist the other day and he asked if we could grab a Slurpee afterwards. Sure. I’m a big spender. “Sure son, I’ll buy you a Slurpee if you pay for it out of your allowance!” (I’m not even kidding).

I waited in the car while he went into the 7-11. I observed the caliber of folks going in. My favorite was the overly tattooed guy with the shaved head, the half cigarette hanging from his pie hole and the wife beater tank top donning his skinny chest. Regardless of where it’s located, the “Sev” (as we used to call it in high school) manages to attract the colorful types. I mean “colorful” in the best possible way.

For a split second, because I watch too many movies, I had the image of the store being robbed and everyone inside being held hostage. I had visions of Sam hiding behind the tampons, shielding himself with a big box of pads or some Hostess Twinkies.

Sam came out safely.

Sam: “Did you see the guy with the tattoos?”
Me: “Yep, he was cute.”
Sam: “I always think the people who work at 7-11 are kind of…well…not that smart
Me: “Watch it, son. I used to work there.”
Sam: “That’s why I said it. I knew you’d get all worked up.”

Yes, it’s true. I worked at the “Sev” during the summer after college when I lived at the the beach (Ocean City, MD) and could not pay my rent from my waitressing income. So, I did the 7:00 a.m. – 3:00 p.m. shift at the “Sev” and then went to The Bonfire (it’s still there) to wait tables.

The thing I remember most about the Bonfire was that we were all so poor. The big deal was eating the leftovers off of the plates that came back to the kitchen from the dining room. So gross. If it was a particularly pricey item like a seafood combo, people would fight over it. The “Ultimate Seafood Nest” was the jackpot. I have worked in at least ten restaurants, but this is the only place where I saw this happen.

By the way, I lasted four shifts at the “Sev” before I quit. Despite any rumors you might have heard, I was not fired or laid off. Which is good because the severance package sucked.

Reminiscing  about the “Sev” got me to thinking about all the random jobs I have had in my life. I’ve never been a straight-line kind of girl. In fact, I’ve been all over the map, to just with jobs, but with college majors, places I’ve lived, etc. Some might call me indecisive and lost, but I like to think this has made me “colorful” like the guy in the wife beater shirt.

Random jobs I’ve had:

Cashier at 7-11
Dishwasher at the dining hall in college
Blackjack dealer
Receptionist
Event planner
Cashier at Roy Rogers
Retail worker at a fabric store (and I hate fabric stores, always have)
Waitress at a dinner theater
Office manager
French language translator
Caseworker – social services
Personal assistant to a crazy psychologist

Can you pick me out? This was when I worked at a country club, hence the bow ties and cummerbunds. It would be a lot harder if there were more than two girls. No, I’m not the one with the beard.

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I think having multiple jobs is a sign of the times. I can only remember my dad having two jobs after college. He was a history teacher and then worked for the Social Security Administration. My father-in-law had only one job his entire life with the FBI. These days it seems people jump around a lot more. Or, maybe it’s just me.

What’s the most random job you’ve ever had?

Have you always known what you wanted to be when you grew up? I am still figuring this out. I know what I don’t want to be: cashier at 7-11, accountant, sewage worker.

Now that’s what I’m talking about

SUAR

*Please don’t inundate me with comments about how unhealthy Slurpees are for my kids. I get it. I also get that the Allies tortured people too and many other things.

69 comments:

  1. I was supposed to be in Ocean City this weekend but Hurricane Irene had other plans! My most random job...stablehand (during my horse phase - paid for lessons).

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  2. Mmmmm slurpees. Nothing tastes as good after a long hot run.

    I've only had 3 jobs in my life - kind of boring, actually. Harveys, Staples, and current office gig. I like that you're "colorful" - or as we say in Canada, coloUrful. :)

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  3. I love this. Slurpees and those horrible "nachos" at 7-Eleven were a common late night snack in college. I must have had a stomach of steel.

    I was actually listing out the number of jobs I have had recently for a blog post. Not counting when I left and came back to the same job, I have had 21 jobs. I am 35.

    I must have commitment problems.

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  4. Slurpees are so bad for your Kids..... but then again so are the suckers and Popsicles I shove in my kids mouths on Hot days to keep them from complaining in the jogging stroller. bahaha.

    Most random job .. A cocktail waitress at a poker room. I had to shove myself inside a tiny mini skirt and corset, that damn thing was painful! Also I had the pleasure of being a pharmacy tech... apparently they will hire any fool to hand out Drugs.

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  5. I am guessing that you are the brunette sitting on the counter. I used to spend quite a bit of time in OC. Lived in Harford County so I was always in OC or Rehobeth. Now I live in Daytona Beach. Not NEARLY as nice but it never gets cold here;)

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  6. I have had a ton of jobs, alot of them bad. When I was a sophmore in highschool (21 years ago) I stood on a street corner holding a sign for Dominos Pizza for 4 hours a day. This was before this type of "marketing" was all over the place, so I really stood out.

    The worst was when I was standing there and alot of kids I went to school with drove past me on the way to prom.

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  7. Anon - nope, I am actually the other girl getting the tongue in her ear.

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  8. Stay safe in OC with the hurricane coming. I am actually disapointed it didnt hit here. I love hurricanes. It shouldnt be to bad though only a cat 2 by the time it gets to you. Stay away from windows. GB :)

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  9. I've had so many weird jobs - I think most random was housekeeping in a hotel.

    My list looks similar to yours LOL

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  10. Oh, I love you. My randomest job was at a BBQ takeout joint on Cape Cod where I had to mix coleslaw in a giant paint bucket. Up. To. My. Elbows. The guy who had the job before me was a really hairy Brazilian named Jose. We didn't wear gloves. I haven't been able to touch coleslaw since.

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  11. A dishwasher person at a restaurant in Poughkeepsie NY. Will never set foot in that place again. Considered calling the Health and Food Dept but the parents of the guy I was dating was friends with owner. Lasted 2 shifts (almost throwing up at each shift) before I quit that gig.

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  12. Awesome, love slurpees....I've even gone when I didn't have the kids. No excuses, I work hard, I drink slurpees, copious amounts of alcohol when I can, eat chocolate/candy/cookies/cheese/nachos, etc.

    My FAVORITE and most odd ball job ever was in the produce dpt of a grocery store. I loved that job and I learned alot about fruits & veggies that I didn't really care about at the time but helps me now that I'm in the "real" world.

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  13. My first job was as a Tropical Snow snow-cone maker when I was a sophomore in high school. I was quickly promoted to manager. Of course, only one person could fit in the small, roadside box at a time so I'm not quite what the hell I was actually managing.
    My kids LOVE slurpees too. :-)

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  14. You're the one in the front kneeling. Are you sure there are only two girls in the photo????? HA

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  15. You are so funny!!! My parents have a beach house in fenwick island and were evacuated bc of hurricane Irene!! That is awesome that you worked @ the bonfire!! I have never been there...I can't say I have had an awful job! I worked @ TCBY frozen yogurt through high school and a little after, then coached lacrosse while in nursing school and now i am a nurse!

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  16. TNT Coach: OMG just went backed and looked at the photo. LMAO. That curly haired person is actually a dude!

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  17. You were a French translator? I'm trying to learn French, but once I start, I get busy with other things. Its also hard because I have no one to practice speaking with.

    My jobs include:
    Inventory auditor (my mom was my boss)
    Buffalo Wild Wings hostess (we were only allowed to eat the celery for free, except for the occasional times the managers bought us wings)
    Ice Rink employee (hand out skate rentals, sharpen skates, work the concession stand)
    Athletic Trainer (what I do now)

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  18. I worked at a fabric store (several) and it was my favorite job. Except for Halloween you didn't get too many bitchy people!

    I always wondered about the food that goes back untouched. Mostly because my husband gets sad when people leave whole baskets of chips on the table at mexican restaurants lol.

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  19. I read fine print but like everybody else I tend to ignore it. Do you know how bad Slurpees are for your kids? LOL!!!!

    Are you the guy in the front right with the beard?

    Jobs....I hate working. I am doing all I can to not work and that alone is exhausting work.

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  20. I grew up on slurpees! I love them too. I had one in San Diego a few months ago for the first time in 20+ years! I freaked out when I saw a 7/11 and made my friends stop so I could get one! I wish we had Slurpees here in Ohio.

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  21. Hey, now it's my turn. I've worked in a sewage plant (we call it waste water treatment), and it's better than you'd think. I quit because I couldn't take the shift work any more, not because it was a shitty place to work. Most days I could have worn a suit to work. Most days you could eat off the floors, the place was that clean. But shift work - my sleep patterns are still messed up.

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  22. Most random job? Telemarketer selling newspaper subscriptions - it was my first job and it was horrible...or rather I was horrible at it! I think I lasted a week.

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  23. Roy Rogers!

    Now that is a blast from the past! I remember being a kid and loving their fried chicken!

    P.S. I knew you were the chick getting tongued in the pic. LOL!

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  24. My first non babysitting job was at Little Ceasars and there are cameras so we would all wait until the camera changed direction and then eat a bunch of stuff off the pizza making station before it panned back around. We had one staff meeting where we had to watch a coworker caught on camera scratching his butt and smelling finger multiple times. Best staff meeting ever! I also was a baker in a bagel shop. I miss that job the most. Now, I am a clinical social worker and work with and interview kids who have been abused. THAT is a conversation stopper for sure!

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  25. Telemarketer for Armstrong Paint selling texture coating for your home …shitty job, hated it, but was second-best in the office even though I was only 18. Coat check girl at the Trocadero in Philadelphia. I made so much in tips it was hard to quit, but the hours sucked too much. Cleaning hot tubs and saunas at a hot-tub-n-sauna place. I lasted one day…just weird and gross.

    Slurpees are like the Nectar of the gods!

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  26. When I was pregnant with my daughter and working for Ford, I would run out to the 7-11 down the street from the office to get a slurpee for my "second lunch", since I was so uncomfortable and just had to take another break to at least last the 5.5 hours that I had to put in before they could tecnically dock my pay if I left early. I was salaried, not hourly. Working for Ford was great, and I did it for many years. The most random thing I did was in college, I worked the McDonalds/beer stand at a local outdoor ampitheater to raise money for my sorority. I was so relieved to not have to do that ever again. We also raked leaves as a fundraiser, and that was so not worth the money. That was also a one time deal. Cleaning the trash out of the stadium after football games was preferable to that. Aside from being a cashier at all sorts of places, my most interesting job was being a tape librarian for Nationwide Insurance, in their data center. I am really curious what it looks like inside now that technology has changed so much, but we had programers that would request data tapes with program to run. They would enter it on a computer, and then we would manually insert their tape into the correct drive. We would also have to log and put the tapes back into slots. It was boring work, so we did all sorts of silly things while working to keep it interesting.

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  27. I think it is hilarious that you warned us about something being ' gross'...you have plenty of gross things going on and you choose, ' eating food off of other peoples plates' to warn us about?

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  28. My first job was McD's - 6 months. I actually worked at Domino's Pizza for one day - hideous!

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  29. This makes me feel so much better! I realize I am a youngen in my mid-twenties still, but I feel completely lost and have no idea WHAT I am doing with my life. I want to change the world (how naive of me) and I want be passionate about my work. This whole cubicle gig is just not doing it for me. I have:

    *worked a temp job as an office assistant

    *worked the front desk of a physical therapy clinic in a very rich neighborhood in chicago (old money folks - hated my life!)

    *promoted alcohol brands such as Bacardi, Malibu and Absolut (all the while, I worked in Student Health Promotions during the day, ironic?)

    *I worked a beer tub at a sleazy bar

    *I waitressed for 2 weeks (and sucked horribly at it).

    *I was a telemarketer, for 5 days

    *I worked at Panera Bread for 1 day (but they expected me to wear a very particular type of khaki pants so I quit)

    *I worked at a tanning salon (I was quite orange for a few months and quit one day when they expected me to work the 4th of july weekend, I was 17, I had plans!)

    *I was an assistant to a psychopath

    *I worked in Corporate Health Promotion teaching group ex and health workshops (the most normal of my jobs)

    *And now I work in development at a non-profit (but I live in a cubicle and I kind of hate my life a little)

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  30. Oh, and I worked at Hallmark all through high school so I could pay the insurance on my 92 Plymouth Sundance that had no heat and brakes that barely worked. :)

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  31. I've had a lot of random jobs too:

    -fast food worker at Hardee's (and one summer I got to be the biscuit lady)

    -housekeeper at a motel on lake michigan (think lots of fishermen...)

    - gymnastics instructor (at 4 different places)

    -customer service rep in the investment industry

    -administrative assistant

    -in college i worked at a booth in the mall that sold hippie jewelry (hemp necklaces etc) and then when that shut down i worked at one that sold sunglasses.

    -customer service at a health insurance company. That lasted 2 months cause it was AWFUL!

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  32. Most random job was working for the ditch clearing crew for a city parks departments. Texas summers are awesome with leather chaps strapped to a double handled brush cutter and taking orders from the same dude you saw at the sev. Oh, and I was 16. Kept my ass in college though.

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  33. Haven't had a slurpee since I barfed up a whole cherry slurpee after spinning around in the backyard - 35-years ago.

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  34. oh yeah - totally just remembered this job.

    I worked at a drycleaners when I was 17-18 and would wear people's clothes (after they were cleaned, mostly) then have them cleaned again before they picked them up. I was sad when someone would bring in a great outfit and want it the next day.

    My friend was a waitress at a restaurant and would eat leftovers. She thought my clothes wearing was worse.

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  35. Funny post and great picture, reminds me of high school! I take my kids to our local 7-11 for slurpies too (we call it Quickie Mart, from the Simpsons since "Abu" works there!). In high school I worked the drive thru window at Rax (roast beef sandwich chain) and gave away tons of free food to my friends and all the cute boys from school. In college I worked at a T shirt shop on the OC boardwalk (jersey, not MD). You're right though, no one stays at the same job forever, like they used to!

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  36. JS 15, OMG you totally called me out and are so right. What was I thinking? Taking out the "gross" disclaimer right now.

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  37. I've only had 4 jobs in my life...I'm no slut, but I am a little easy and would change in a heartbeat right now. :)

    I can totally picture you as a blackjack dealer!

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  38. We don't have 7-11, but can get Icee's at Target. When I was a kid the Kmart had them (pre-Target). I can only drink cherry though.

    I don't know that I ever had a really off the wall job, but I have had more than most of my friends that are mid-career. Six in 16 years since college.

    And at one point worked three (at the same time) to pay for college - Calculus II teacher assistant, Soil Conservation Service engineering aid and video store clerk. I did the clerk thing long enough in college that the company was bought out twice in the time I worked there! "Thank you for calling Movie Gallery, formerly Premiere Video, formerly National Video!" Paid the bills though.

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  39. After my dad was discharged from the Navy, he had 20 jobs in 24 months. The 20th job was squeegying tallow out of a barge. Puke City. So he quit and went to nursing school. Probably a smart idea since I was 3 at the time...

    Not so random in this part of the country, but my least favorite job was walking beans. Or worse yet, spraying beans. I'll probably get cancer from those weed killers.

    No 7/11s here but my kids LOVE slushies. I like snow cones but my husband is all about ice cream so most of the time our treat includes dairy. Jackie in Iowa

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  40. I used to wait tables in OC, Md too! And I had a friend who worked at the Bonfire. Funny, I think we're about the same age...we were probably at Harpoon Hannah's or Scandals together :) I had many random jobs as well. Ice cream scooper, telemarketing (people actually bought those overpriced cookbooks!), hostess at a Bob's Big Boy...good times lol

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  41. Blackjack dealer?? That's cool! Me ho hum.. boring. I waited tables for years, got married, had kids.. Been a stay at home mom for 16 yrs.

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  42. I basically whore myself out to any place that has cool stuff with great discounts. Currently at a running store (Jackpot!), was at IKEA, tried get a job at Bass Pro (I would have gotten a kayak).

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  43. Dang, Joe 16 years old, leather and heat? Did you take a shirt off too? I love it when you talk dirty like that.

    My two most random jobs were:

    1. Valet (parked cars) in downtown San Fransisco. Great tips.

    2. Usher at an a circus coming through town.

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  44. I love slurpees and had a Dorthy Hamill hair-do!!!!

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  45. I am currently a 42 year old female, mother of 2, part time interior house painter with a Masters of Social Work degree.

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  46. Do you remember that ridiculous clothing store Rave? They used to have it at the Boulder Mall. Think very trashy clothes that fall apart after one washing, and half of them have sequins and/or pleather as a major component. Oh, and LOTS of zebra and leopard print! I worked there during my freshman year of college and got to know all the male cross dressers that would come in to try on the clothes. Good times, good times.

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  47. O M. Freaking. Gosh.

    Sev. I always call it sev I get the weirdest freaking looks too. Sev haters!!

    Love the drawer. Sorry I do. Only because it's not peanuts. [being honest].
    Freaking love the photo!!

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  48. When I was 19, I had a temp job as a tea lady at an office that still kept tea service when everywhere else switched to vending machines. Used to push my tea cart around the building serving bad tea and even worse coffee. The other ladies there were in their 60s and had worked there for 100 years.

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  49. my first job was the gift wrap girl at bamberger's ....that was a treat, you didn't need any wrapping experience, so they stuck me there and i had to figure out how to wrap a gift and stick some fancy bows on it. i am actually VERY good at wrapping gifts now

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  50. I totally had a Dorothy Hamill haircut when I was 8. I think it was a sign because at 11 I became a competitive figure skater.

    And this was all in the 90s. That hair was epic.

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  51. I walked into the Sev after Pikes Peak cuz I was dying for a Diet Coke (a treat whenever I do a race...yeah I know, whatever) and the woman working there had no teeth. Really, no teeth. Nice as can be but really, is that the image that place wants to portray. I got back in the car and said, "Please never stop here again." Haha. Damn that Diet Coke was good though!!

    Good luck tomorrow, will be thinking of you!!!

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  52. Still looking for that weir d job to add on my resume! lol You gave me some good suggestions.

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  53. I can't get past the image of Sam hiding behind the feminine products stand. I'm hoping if it came down to it he'd choose the super-maxi pads with wings cause he'd need as much protection as possible.

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  54. I, on the other hand, am obsessed with fabric stores, and can easily spend 2 hours and $200 in there. Then sew a few ball couture ball gowns.

    My most random job was live modeling for a ritzy boutique while I was in college. They paid $79 an hour and back then I was cute and skinny and could do it. Now I think I'd break the catwalk.

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  55. The best job I ever had was in London, England. For three months I worked at a shop that sold hand-made Swiss chocolates. The boss told me on the first day that I could eat as many chocolates as I wanted during working hours. I had virtually no money so there were days that I ate nothing but mustard sandwiches and chocolates.
    That was 20 years ago. I still have dreams about that shop. Well, nightmares actually, as they always involve me wandering around London and never being able to track down the location of the shop...

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  56. I am new reader and I love your blog. This one is great! I have had a lot of random jobs too- including being a busgirl at a country club and working at McDonald's (talk about bad for you!) I am also a lover of Slurpees- walked to 7-11 everyday as a kid to get one.

    Thanks for being so entertaining. I love following your training.

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  57. OMG! I can't believe you worked at a 7-11 in OC and at the Bonfire! I bet you have the BEST stories!!! Did you get to hang at Seacrets? So crazy there!

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  58. Random job: Frog Dissecting Lab Assistant-fun times in college

    Hanging on for Hurricane Irene- forced rest for my stupid hurting feet is good I guess!

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  59. And I did have the Dorothy Hamill haircut until a friend of my dad's asked how his "son" was doing?

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  60. I had a job cleaniNg out the popcorn popper at a noncom bar at Quantico. We subsidized our meager salary by stealing about one case of beer oer day.

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  61. lol omg that fing hilarious. they would fight over the sea food platter.. haha

    I worked in the back yard of a mortuary in a snack bar once.. it was weird.

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  62. Your seafood scarfing story makes me remember to when I was waitressing banquets at the nicest historic hotel in town. We did a lot of weddings, which were long, tiring weekends, without the chance to eat any real food. Towards the end of the night we were always so starved and exhausted that we just ate fist fulls of wedding cake to get any food and sugar into our systems to keep going. Thousands of dollars in wedding cake in a summer.

    Also, something like 20 jobs to my name in my 27 years, including illegally working in a factory at age 15, and being a non-deputized police officer while in college. Gotta hustle to make cash.

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  63. First 10 Years
    - Paper delivery boy
    - Umpire little league baseball
    - Cook at Pizza hut in high school, we'd "accidently" double an order and than get to eat the extra pizza, did that every night. Also if we had a cool shift manager, they'd let us drink from the beer keg.
    - Front desk at my college dorm
    - Worked for the football team my freshman year (redshirt) - essentially got paid to watch the game I was required to be at any way - best job ever!
    - Pizza Hut again as a delivery driver, part of our area was in a sleazy neighborhood, delivered to a crack house guy gave me exact change, no tip, and then asked if I "wanted to party" got the hell out of there in a hurry.
    - Produce clerk at grocery store, we had cameras in the back hall, but I'd tip them in the other direction so I could make out with the deli girl.
    - GNC
    - Security at 3 different Bars, more crazy stuff happened there than I could ever remember or write about
    Last 10 Years and currently
    - Current Job with a cellphone retailer

    We don't have 7-11 anymore, but we have QT's (Quick Trips) and they have a wall of slushy mix that you can create any imaginable combination, its a must have!

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  64. I'm so boring, is 48 too old to get a random job? First job was at Mc D's in high school + worked at Mervyn's in the fabric dept....ugh!

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  65. Growing up I used to think that gas stations like what 7 Eleven's used to be were the great class equalizers. Because everyone needs to fuel up their car.

    Now that 7 Eleven's in my area no longer offer a fuel option, I don't see quite the class difference as I used to do when I stop in for my Slurpee fix.

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