Do not ever come to visit me unless you are prepared to be uncomfortable.
I will feed you all kinds of rich food and wine, make you stay up way past your bedtime and give you an air mattress as hard as a rock to sleep on. I will fart at my leisure and encourage you to do the same. I will try to keep my one eyed, three legged dog from humping you, but there are no guarantees.
I will wake you up at 6am and crawl in bed with you for a moment, then make you guzzle your coffee because we have things to do. I will ridicule you for wearing your fuel belt backwards and not tell you about all time times I’ve tucked skirts into underwear and walked around the restaurant so the whole world could see my ass.
I will take you on a 9 mile run even though you have not adjusted to the altitude and I will make you stand guard while I drop trou and take mini dump in the bushes at mile four.
When you come in the door from said run I will make you drink 105 ounces of water so you do not dehydrate and then I will tell you to “chop chop” we have a busy day ahead so get your ass moving.
This is SUAR boot camp and if you don’t like it or Harry Beavers then I guess you go to the Hampton Inn.
How do you treat your guests?
Off to Boulder for the Health and Fitness Bloggers Conference!