Friday, June 24, 2011

SUAR Boot Camp

Do not ever come to visit me unless you are prepared to be uncomfortable.

I will feed you all kinds of rich food and wine, make you stay up way past your bedtime and give you an air  mattress as hard as a rock to sleep on. I will fart at my leisure and encourage you to do the same. I will try to keep my one eyed, three legged dog from humping you, but there are no guarantees.

P1100149

I will wake you up at 6am and crawl in bed with you for a moment, then make you guzzle your coffee because we have things to do. I will ridicule you for wearing your fuel belt backwards and not tell you about all time times I’ve tucked skirts into underwear and walked around the restaurant so the whole world could see my ass.

 P1100145

I will take you on a 9 mile run even though you have not adjusted to the altitude and I will make you stand guard while I drop trou and take  mini dump in the bushes at mile four.

When you come in the door from said run I will make you drink 105 ounces of water so you do not dehydrate and then I will tell you to “chop chop” we have a busy day ahead so get your ass moving.

P1100148

This is SUAR boot camp and if you don’t like it or Harry Beavers then I guess you go to the Hampton Inn.

How do you treat your guests?

Off to Boulder for the Health and Fitness Bloggers Conference!

SUAR

31 comments:

  1. Hilarious! Sounds like a great start to the day! Is there complimentary visit to the Pussy Posse? Because eating band-aids off the bottom of the pool would just be the icing on the cake!

    ReplyDelete
  2. You forgot the part about running naked together and videoing it to post on our blogs... or was that just a you-and-me thing? Hope you have a great time :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hilarious! I make my guests participate in my crazy busy schedule too. If they don't like it I send them to the hotel.. just kidding (sometimes).

    ReplyDelete
  4. sounds errr fun?

    enjoy the conference!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Sounds like a great time to me! As long as you would return the favor and stand guard for me somewhere between miles 5 and 6 (which is when I always seem to end up in the bushes!)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hahaha, awesome. Looks like we treat our guests the same way. See you at the conference!

    ReplyDelete
  7. My kind of boot camp. I better make reservatioms soon - best times will go fast

    ReplyDelete
  8. 6 AM? Thanks for letting me sleep in - where do I sign up!

    ReplyDelete
  9. I lost my nose senses in Nam ... fart at will!

    ReplyDelete
  10. It doesn't really feel like a vacation to me unless I can see hookers and pimps wondering the parking lot of my ratty motel.

    ReplyDelete
  11. You have a hairy beaver?

    That's all I got from this post ;) haha.

    ReplyDelete
  12. That actually sounds really awesome. When can I come visit???? I need an ass-kicking.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Thanks! I had no idea I was wearing my hydration belt backwards as well. ;-) Sounds like fun staying at your house, I might come next.

    ReplyDelete
  14. haha. I run with my fuel belt backwards too. I'm the ultimate lazy runner. Why reach around to get water when it can be right in front of me? :)

    ReplyDelete
  15. im jealous, i want to have that sort of hospitality treatment. ok, maybe minus the dumping in the woods part.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Hey - that's "On Your Backbone"!
    HOpe you girls have fun - well, actually I hope you have more fun during the visit.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Glad I ran on my own this morning without any hydration so I would not get ridiculed.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Now I'm famous! That's me with Beth. Made it through the run, the over hydration, the assault from the dog and the mortification of farting like Clarence Clemmons plays. God rest is awesome soul.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Do you take reservations? Sounds like my kind of vacation spot!

    ReplyDelete
  20. That sounds like a great vacation spot. Are you on priceline.com? LOL

    ReplyDelete
  21. You sound awesome. I'm coming to visit.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Sounds like fun!

    Hope you don't mind if I shart, fart, or perhaps vomit on your dog after all of that.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Haha! Are you taking reservations? lol ;) Enjoy the conference!

    ReplyDelete
  24. Enjoy the conference!! Say hi to my friend Sheryl from Canyon Ranch.

    ReplyDelete
  25. No problems - not the one-eyed humping dog, the public farting or the toilet sentry duty. I would just require that you do the same for me.

    ReplyDelete
  26. that sounds better than a 5 star hotel!! are you taking reservations??

    ReplyDelete