Today I found out that as a marathoner, I am a whiner and a rich snob who hates Las Vegas and only shops at Whole Foods. So are you. Well, at least that’s how Patrick Coolican, author of an article in the Las Vegas Weekly yesterday, pegs all of us runners. Talk about stereotypes and judgments!
Mr. Coolican starts off the article describing the snafu that was the Las Vegas Rock and Roll Marathon. He then goes on to say:
“Put that aside for a moment and consider the people who run marathons and how they might be the kind of people who enjoy a fine whine.
I used to live in Seattle, so I know them. They went to Stanford or USC and work at technology or consulting firms or have already made so much money that they’re stay-at-home dads or moms or started their own nonprofit. They shop at Whole Foods but eat only 1,200 calories a day. They voted for President Obama and felt so darned good about it. They consider the twice-annual sale at REI a religious event. They are the modern Organization Man and so can’t understand why the marathon didn’t go off with the efficiency of their second child’s midwifed home birth. They are the anti-Las Vegas. So, let’s be skeptical of their complaints.”
Here’s what I have to say to Mr. Coolican:
- I love Las Vegas. I go there at least twice a year and give a great deal of money to your fine city. For this race alone I spent $165 to register and hundreds of additional dollars on hotels, food and gambling to boost your economy. You are welcome.
- I came to Vegas to have a good time and to run a race. The race was great. The 5 hour wait to get back to my hotel and the 36 hours of nausea after the race was not.
- I eat at least 2,000 calories a day, more if there are Christmas cookies around.
- I don’t shop at Whole Foods because I can’t afford it and I like my chicken with hormones and antibiotics in it.
- Doesn’t REI stand for Religious Event Inc?
- I didn't have a home birth or a midwife. I had a hospital birth with an OB and a nurse who wiped my ass.
- I don't have my own non-profit. Yet. When I do it will be to fundraise for runners who need counseling because their water did not stay cold enough during their run and their shoes came untied too often. We really are a weak and whiney bunch. That is why we run 26.2 miles for fun. Have you ever done that Mr. Coolican?
This is me whining. As a runner, this is how I look 99.8% of the time
Mr. Coolican shrugs off his article stating he was only trying to “provoke and have a little fun.” Yeah, yeah, supposed to be a joke and all that. But when you’re dealing with many people who ended up in ERs and had their weekends spoiled due to illness, not so funny.
I still think he comes across as a self righteous douche bag, but that’s just me.
What do you think? Are runners an entitled, elitist bunch or was he way off base?
What would you say to Mr. Coolican?
PS: When I first looked at the article, the title was, "Our marathon was the source of much complaining but how much of it was justified," and now it's "Preliminary testing does not point to water.” Interesting that he went back and changed it 24 hours later!