Thursday, December 22, 2011

A Bit Naughty

Today I had great plans to go to the gym, run on the treadmill, do some adductor (aka spread eagle) weights, and contort my body in yoga. None of it happened. We got a bunch of snow (a freaking foot) and I got lazy.

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What can I say? The queen of no excuses made excuses today. I am just being honest. If you want to burn me at the stake you’ll have to make your way through buckets of snow and catch me first. Then I’ll make you laugh so hard you’ll want to be best friends and have a sleepover, and you’ll forget all about the burning thing.

I’ll make up for it tomorrow, I promise. I have grandiose plans to run, maybe with my special Yak Trax.

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Meanwhile I cranked up the Christmas tunes on Pandora and wrapped gifts. Just me and Lucky shut ourselves up in my office for my super secret wrapping extravaganza.

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I almost suffocated. This week I changed Lucky to canned food because he is getting old and I feel sorry for him. Let’s face it, in his old age he needs some spoiling. Kind of like when humans get old and start eating tapioca in the nursing home. The canned food is Lucky’s version of tapioca and he is in heaven.

HOWEVER, the canned food gives him the WORST gas on the planet. As in, it makes my eyes water. I’ve never quite smelled anything like it. If you’ve read the children’s book, Walter the Farting Dog, you can expect the sequel, Lucky the Gaseous Cocker. His butthole is deadly. Maybe this is the same effect tapioca has on grandpa.

Walter the Farting Dog

If I seem a bit more off my rocker than usual it is because I have been shut in the house all week with a foot of snow and a post-surgical child. It will make you a bit batty.

I will leave you with this holiday dessert selection: Slutty Brownies. I have not made them, but I am told they are “oh so easy and quite naughty,”  just like your average slut. Seriously, anything made with Oreos, brownies and chocolate chip cookie dough has got to be sinful, just like your average slut.

If you try them, let me know. Then I can call you a slut.

By the way, I tried the Melted Snowman Cookies. Guess which one is mine?

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meltingsnowman

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

You are so smart.

Have you done any holiday baking?

How’s your dog’s gas on a scale from 1-10, 10 being the worst?

How have your holiday workouts been? Are you getting them all in?

SUAR

48 comments:

  1. Not too sure about those Yak Trax things. They look like torture devices. Don't think I'll need those here in FL thank God!!

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  2. It has been raining here a week. I have been making a ton of excuses. mostly...it's freaking Christmas!

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  3. I tore off my Yak Traks this morning as I realized it hadn't snowed as much as I had thought. They are a necessity, but I hate them...they do look like torture devices!

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  4. Yak trax are no good on fluffy snow or real ice. They are only good on the hard packed snow that has not turned to ice yet.

    I am getting all workouts done, in fact I am ahead on workouts. But let's see what happens to night. The trainer is calling me but the wine is good.

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  5. Karen is making fudge as well as peanut butter balls but since I am all things nut butter she is just making balls......wait this is a family blog.....

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  6. I'm glad Walter the Farting Dog made it into your post today too :) I am getting ready to make some chocolate cupcakes with candy cane frosting and I really hope they turn out ok! I have a cat and he doesn't fart so I don't have anybody to blame :( I have missed a few more workouts than usual thanks to the holidays...mostly due to my eating habits during the holidays...it's hard to run with a belly full of food!

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  7. My dog would like to challenge your dog to a fart-off. They are locked in a room with at least 20 people and the one who creates the most carnage wins. Nellie has a special secret weapon. His farts often have follow-through. They're the gift that keep on giving.

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  8. I tried to make the snowmen...they looked like they were ran over by a truck. We changed to ornaments after the first batch.
    Wish you could see my facebook page. My dog has a pink cast on...and while at the vet, someone paid our bill....for knee surgery it was NO little bill. Knew you would enjoy. Planning on blogging about it tonight.
    Yeah for wrapping and resting. Enjoy them yaks!

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  9. I had running and yoga plans tonight and I've done nothing but move from the couch to the beverage frdige since I got home. It's not looking promising.

    My dogs sometimes have HORRIBLE gas, like hide under blankets and hold your breath bad.

    I plan on doing some Christmas baking tomorrow :)

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  10. I got a big laugh out of your melted snowman cookie - cute, creative baked good never turn out like the photos, do they?! I usually love to bake at the holidays but I just had Morton's neuroma surgery and am finding it a bit painful to be on my feet. I did attempt to make my Andes mint cookies today but I must have residual narcotics in my system because my fail-safe recipe bombed. I'll be enjoying the fruit of others labors this year. Those brownies look amazing by the way!

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  11. I just finished baking 113 dozen cookies! The funny thing is- I have plans tomorrow to bake more cookies and make homemade caramels, toffee, and truffles!

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  12. I would for sure hurt myself using those Yak Trax things AND making melted snowman cookies! I made chocolate chip cookies the other day...they were perfect AND gluten-free ;-)

    Enjoy the snow...maybe you need to go out to escape the gas!

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  13. SNOW! We just have rain : ( Guess no one is ever happy.

    Today I made peanut butter balls, oreo truffles and peanut butter fudge and ran a whole mile on the treadmill. That works right???

    I will NOT make the Slut brownies because that is a deadly combination. I am better off to eat a whole roll of cookie dough and save myself a few thousand calories. Because if I made those brownies I would eat a whole roll of cookie dough, brownies and a pack of oreos.

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  14. Pretty sure my mom used to read Walter the Farting Dog to her elementary school students.

    No gassy dogs yet in our household but I've asked for a Corgi, or a rescue dog (because you inspired me).

    You probably needed a few days off, and your next workout will kick ass because you'll be refreshed.

    I'm getting the workouts in, and loving being held accountable by a running coach. ;-)

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  15. Oh, and as for baking, I've been playing with a recipe I call a "Protein Pumpkin Muff Cake."

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  16. Maybe our dog and Lucky are long lost brothers? Ours can clear a room and the worst is that he typically farts then leaves. I guess even he can't stand himself. Sometimes if he's sitting and farts, he will get up and sniff the floor where he was just sitting. It's like he has no idea it came from him. lol Dogs! Hope you have a Merry Christmas!

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  17. Do the Yak Trax work (for running outside that is?)

    I've read the Farting Dog books - and while my little beasts aren't too bad - my 10 year old son is deadly to be around sometimes!!

    Great cookies and treats - be proud - at least you bake. I bring the Pilsbury cookies to every event I go too! :-)

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  18. My old lab could clear a room in 2 seconds ... the funny part was that he'd fart, WAKE HIMSELF UP, and then give US dirty looks! If he was awake when it happened, he'd look confused and leave the room. We could never keep a straight face.

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  19. I love that you skipped your workout. I think sometimes, it is the absolute best thing you can do for yourself.
    Imlove my Yaktrax.

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  20. Today was the perfect day for baking, huh? I'm already tired of this snow, just cramping my running - blah! But it does look Christmas-y now!

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  21. Been baking lots of things...gingerbread, sugar cookies, and minty brownies! My dog eats dry food and is still stinky! And I have been running every day since thanksgiving, outside and on the treadmill, anyway I can!

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  22. My little beagle/pointer mix has DEADLY gas. It used to be even worse when she was a puppy (like make you want to vomit STANK) but it's still clear-a-room bad!

    I hosted a cookie/treat exchange last week and I am in charge of desserts for our family fesitivities so it looks like I know what I'll be doing tomorrow night!

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  23. The Slutty Brownies look a.ma.zing. That would derail the 60 pounds I've lost in the last 10 months, but might be worth it. Of course, if I looked like the author (final pic, licking the bowl), I would eat those every day.

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  24. Couldn't visit for awhile - I missed you.. LOVE your snowman cookie.

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  25. It's fabulous in Phoenix - I got a 7 miler in today.

    My kids love, love, LOVE Walter the Farting Dog! It's the best book for a beginning reader, hands down. And it's good to spoil Lucky! :-)

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  26. It's fabulous in Phoenix - I got a 7 miler in today.

    My kids love, love, LOVE Walter the Farting Dog! It's the best book for a beginning reader, hands down. And it's good to spoil Lucky! :-)

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  27. I love that book! It is a children's classic! Yak Traks? Love them, too. I've been working on my abductor muscle a lot- I partially tore mine a couple months back. I started PT a couple weeks ago (I didn't know it was torn until I went to the DR after a month of rest, ice and trying to run again). Have a great Christmas!

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  28. ha! Had to smile at your question about which cookie was yours? Not that it was obvious or any thing....it took me um, a while to figure it out..ha!

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  29. I love your melted snowman! I've seen these a few times and they look so fun! Have to put them on the list for next year, unless I feel the urge to bake next week. Unlikely...

    Have a great Christmas!!!

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  30. Love the chocolate brownie...I'm definitely going to try and make it ... we'll see how that goes! www.dashingdiva.net

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  31. I'm in Montana, which looks exactly like your picture right now.
    Are you in Colorado? I need to email you I have a question for ya

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  32. Ali: Yep, in CO. Email me at beth@shutupandrun.net

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  33. I kid you not, we switched our dogs to gluten free dog food and the gas went away. I'm not for pampering dogs at all, but I don't mind buying this different kind of food...it's really more for us than it is for them :-)

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  34. I still haven't had much used for my Yak Trax...I wish we'd get a little snow!

    My dogs are actually pretty boring in the fart deparment.

    I do think I will introduce my husband to those brownies...it will be the closest he (better!)will get to anything slutty.

    Have a Merry Christmas!

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  35. Our weather is having identity crisis. One day is warm. The next day is cold and rainy. Then it's warm again. This makes scheduling my long run (20 miles...yay! last 20 miles training run in 2011) difficult.
    I never tried the Yak Trax -but i had purchased "magic studs" from the Canadian version of REI. They are amazing for 1 inch of fluffy snow and ice.
    Super amazing on ice for hiking. Never really on them though.

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  36. I totally skipped my run this morning due to snow too. I told my husband to tell Santa to put Yak Trax in my stocking and he reminded me that we already have some. Oops. Guess I can't use the snow excuse anymore.

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  37. My absolutely FAV part about having 3 dogs who ALL fart is when Chris looks at me and asks if it's me. Really??!! First, GOD no! Second, if it was, I'd claim it!! Proudly I might add. It has to take skill (or wet dog food apparantly!) to get your ass to smell like that!
    Workouts, yes. Not behind. I know, slap a bitch!! Bring it. NO snow here which is unusual but very, very low temps which sucks big time. I have the Yak Traks ready to go pending some white stuff...
    Baking is good but low key. No weight gain for me on holidays.... So far....
    Hey, how about a sleepover with fuzzy socks and a fire (for the marshmallows for S'mores of course) instead of burning you??!!! Oh, I"ll wear pants too...

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  38. Almost forgot. You can call me a slut anyway....

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  39. The week before Christmas is my official "as long as it is real and decadent and homemade, eat the whole batch if you want" week. I'll take it all to Christmas Dinner at the in-laws and accidentally leave it there. ; )

    As far as workouts go, I wore my VFFs for the first time post-surgery yesterday, so I am just getting back into the swing of things.

    Sorry you have cabin fever. That is the WORST!

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  40. OMG those slutty brownies look amazing!! I may have to try them (although I have baked a ton and eaten at least half of everything and am feeling gross!!) Those cookies are cute, yours and the example.
    I love Walter the Farting Dog, it's such a cute book. Don't feel bad about the excuse day, it happens sometimes!

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  41. dang that's a lot of snow!! those Yak Trax things look kinda scary and like i'd end up one or two toes short. :P

    i've been good on my workouts, but it's a bit easier being that i own my treadmill...lol

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  42. I live in Bend Oregon where there is usually quite a bit of snow by now but for some reason the past month has been dry and sunny, really pleasant! Therefore I have been able to go out in the woods and run some long runs almost every weekend. I usually run to work and home everyday (5 miles each way) and I have been able to save on gas money and do that all week. I remember in October I prayed to the weather god and asked that it not snow till December... well its almost January! My bank account loves that!

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  43. You have not smelled gas until you have smelled my dog's gas. Period.

    Tis the season to take a day or two off. Don't sweat it.

    Merry Christmas my friend! So glad I got to know you in person this year!

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  44. I love the Walter the Farting Dog book! I think I gave it to my brother for a gift once.

    Those brownies look awesome!!!!!!

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  45. 1. Baking: YES. Triple batch of English Toffee, double batch of fudge, triple batch of reindeer crunch, 8+ dozen biscotti, 7 batches of caramel corn. Oh, and 6 dozen cookies for my cookie exchange last weekend!
    2. Thankfully, my dog doesn't really have gas. If she did, I'm pretty sure my husband would keep her in the garage. Which, ironically, is where I'd like to keep HIM (he's gassy).
    3. Alas, the workouts have suffered. I did manage a lovely 5.5mile run on the treadmill earlier this week but that was about it. Next week I'll get a couple in.

    Happy Holidays SUAR!

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  46. I needed to make a sweet treat for my work's pot luck today and saw your slutty brownie recipe you posted. couldn't resist. I made the choc chip cookie dough from scratch and used a prepared brownie mix. They loved them! Thanks so much for the suggestion!! Super yummy!
    Merry Christmas!

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