Today I had great plans to go to the gym, run on the treadmill, do some adductor (aka spread eagle) weights, and contort my body in yoga. None of it happened. We got a bunch of snow (a freaking foot) and I got lazy.
What can I say? The queen of no excuses made excuses today. I am just being honest. If you want to burn me at the stake you’ll have to make your way through buckets of snow and catch me first. Then I’ll make you laugh so hard you’ll want to be best friends and have a sleepover, and you’ll forget all about the burning thing.
I’ll make up for it tomorrow, I promise. I have grandiose plans to run, maybe with my special Yak Trax.
Meanwhile I cranked up the Christmas tunes on Pandora and wrapped gifts. Just me and Lucky shut ourselves up in my office for my super secret wrapping extravaganza.
I almost suffocated. This week I changed Lucky to canned food because he is getting old and I feel sorry for him. Let’s face it, in his old age he needs some spoiling. Kind of like when humans get old and start eating tapioca in the nursing home. The canned food is Lucky’s version of tapioca and he is in heaven.
HOWEVER, the canned food gives him the WORST gas on the planet. As in, it makes my eyes water. I’ve never quite smelled anything like it. If you’ve read the children’s book, Walter the Farting Dog, you can expect the sequel, Lucky the Gaseous Cocker. His butthole is deadly. Maybe this is the same effect tapioca has on grandpa.
If I seem a bit more off my rocker than usual it is because I have been shut in the house all week with a foot of snow and a post-surgical child. It will make you a bit batty.
I will leave you with this holiday dessert selection: Slutty Brownies. I have not made them, but I am told they are “oh so easy and quite naughty,” just like your average slut. Seriously, anything made with Oreos, brownies and chocolate chip cookie dough has got to be sinful, just like your average slut.
If you try them, let me know. Then I can call you a slut.
By the way, I tried the Melted Snowman Cookies. Guess which one is mine?
You are so smart.
Have you done any holiday baking?
How’s your dog’s gas on a scale from 1-10, 10 being the worst?
How have your holiday workouts been? Are you getting them all in?