First, congrats to Adam (Boring Runner, who is really not that boring) and his wife Tiffany. They welcomed baby boy Hayden into the world yesterday!! Here’s to a the next few years being filled with poop, vomit, spit up and breast pumps. And maybe a little happiness and love.
Warning: stir crazy bloggers who are injured and can’t run are a bit brain damaged. This post reflects that for sure.
The weirdest thing happened last night. I was asleep and heard a faint rumbling somewhere in the house. It sounded like whispering, hair swishing, boob bouncing. An almost frenetic energy. I chalked it up to my imagination or a serial killer on the loose and went back to sleep. But, then this morning I went into the playroom and found this:
Apparently, Barbie and all of her friends had a convention in front of the castle in the middle of the night. Clearly, there is a stage set up for someone famous to appear who has not yet appeared. Will it be Al Roker? Prince William? Dean Karnazes? Obama?
All I know is I was left out. Those damn girls. It’s just like high school. They think because you don’t have measurements of 39-23-33 (that's bust, waist, hips) and long legs and a flat, hairless vagina you can't be included in their little parties. Well, guess what, blondies. I’m a person too. I have feelings. I have a group at the pool called the pussy posse and we hang out out daily. We might not do it in front of a blue castle with all of our perfect friends, but we share stories of operations and early bird specials and spanx.
This is not the first time Barbie pulled this crap. One time I got up in the morning to find this.
Ken’s really working it in his sleeveless shirt. You know what he’s hoping for post-massage. There are always strings attached. Her boobs have to hurt. They just have to.
Kudos to daughter Emma for getting creative with her dolls. No tea parties here.
Okay, enough of that. I’m off to the pool. 40 minutes of water running awaits. Laugh if you want, but that’s about 4-5 miles. 29 days until my feet hit the land again. It can’t come soon enough. Enough being tormented by Barbie and her castle.
By the way, Ken (as in Barbie and Ken, not my husband) totally scored. Just check out the convention. 27 women and one dude. I’m surprised he still has the black pants on. Dude needs a Thermajock. Just ask Kovas.
Oh, and SUAR has reached Israel. This is Jennifer from Running Bubby. She just finished a 32 km run (20 miles). She runs her first marathon in Tiberius, Israel on January 6. She says, “I’m a religious Jew and because of modesty reasons, I run in a skirt.” You go girl. Kudos to you.
For stickers go HERE.