Friday, December 3, 2010

Boobs Bouncing

First, congrats to Adam (Boring Runner, who is really not that boring) and his wife Tiffany. They welcomed baby boy Hayden into the world yesterday!! Here’s to a the next few years being filled with poop, vomit, spit up and breast pumps. And maybe a little happiness and love.

Warning: stir crazy bloggers who are injured and can’t run are a bit brain damaged. This post reflects that for sure.

The weirdest thing happened last night.  I was asleep and heard a faint rumbling somewhere in the house. It sounded like whispering, hair swishing, boob bouncing. An almost frenetic energy. I chalked it up to my imagination or a serial killer on the loose and went back to sleep. But, then this morning I went into the playroom and found this:

P1080405

Apparently, Barbie and all of her friends had a convention in front of the castle in the middle of the night. Clearly, there is a stage set up for someone famous to appear who has not yet appeared. Will it be Al Roker?  Prince William? Dean Karnazes? Obama?

All I know is I was left out. Those damn girls. It’s just like high school. They think because you don’t have measurements of 39-23-33 (that's bust, waist, hips)  and long legs and a flat, hairless vagina you can't be included in their little parties. Well, guess what, blondies.  I’m a person too. I have feelings. I have a group at the pool called the pussy posse and we hang out out daily. We might not do it in front of a blue castle with all of our perfect friends, but we share stories of operations and early bird specials and spanx.

This is not the first time Barbie pulled this crap. One time I got up in the morning to find this.

barbiemassage

Ken’s really working it in his sleeveless shirt. You know what he’s hoping for post-massage. There are always strings attached. Her boobs have to hurt. They just have to.

Kudos to daughter Emma for getting creative with her dolls. No tea parties here.

Okay, enough of that. I’m off to the pool. 40 minutes of water running awaits. Laugh if you want, but that’s about 4-5 miles. 29 days until my feet hit the land again. It can’t come soon enough. Enough being tormented by Barbie and her castle.

By the way, Ken (as in Barbie and Ken, not my husband) totally scored. Just check out the convention. 27 women and one dude. I’m surprised he still has the black pants on. Dude needs a Thermajock. Just ask Kovas.

Oh, and SUAR has reached Israel. This is Jennifer from Running Bubby. She just finished a 32 km run (20 miles). She runs her first marathon in Tiberius, Israel on January 6. She says, “I’m a religious Jew and because of modesty reasons, I run in a skirt.” You go girl. Kudos to you.

suarisrael

Feeling worldly,

SUAR

For stickers go HERE.

41 comments:

  1. Nice and warm in Israel, no need for a kitten cover. Do they make a aquajogging version?

    ReplyDelete
  2. 29 DAYS!!! Wahoo!! That picture is hilarious, your daughter is awesome. Hope you had an awesome time aqua jogging!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Kovas
    kovas
    kovas

    Really 39-23-33 [Barbie] I always thought it was 36-24-36 [ha, ha, only if she's 5'3"]

    YAY to Adam!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Kovas - I don't know. You tell me, you're the expert. Wetsuit for the weiner?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Good god, you really are bored aren't you. LOL.

    Congrats to Adam! Hope the water running went well.

    And I am 39-23-33, so I can join their party. As you can see, I am brain damaged too.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Notice that the sticker is right below the dent... looks like someone was getting close enough to see where they too could get such an awesome sticker.

    Doesn't Kovas know that the pussy posse likes the pool to be nice and warm so that there is no need for an aquajogging version of the kitten cover?

    ReplyDelete
  7. I love that my former love Saucony Triumph 7 are getting love in Israel from Jennifer. I left them for Brooks and heard they were on the rebound.

    Barbie's a bitch.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Ok, this is probably the funniest thing I have read all day.
    29 days will be here before you know it!!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Bahahahaha...I love how you found a way to slip it in.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I know a trappist monk who runs in a cassock; I'll have to get someone to send him a SUAR sticker so more religious types get photos here!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Oh my, more lemon drops involved here I'm sure. And appears less lemons and more vodka was used at this ummmm will call it a party.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Very cool you have made it all the way to Isreal!
    Barbie's got nothin' on you!
    Have fun in the pool!

    ReplyDelete
  13. oh my. this is good stuff.

    i am worried though. will things change in SUAR bloggy land once you are on land again and not "stir crazy" ???
    and heck ya...where is my SUAR sticker?? I thought I made the cut??
    and I think that you should develop and market a SUAR branded kitty cover that is also waterproof.
    whaddaya think?

    ReplyDelete
  14. Your posts crack me up!! Count down is on: 29 days!

    SUAR is a global product!

    ReplyDelete
  15. You just keep spreading the SUAR message across the globe!

    It must have been a barefoot convention.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Looks like people back into posts in Israel too! I can just see them scratching their heads wondering what the heck SUAR means!
    Barbie's ok, but that Ken guy is kind of creepy - and I don't mean your hubby - i think?
    Ken was great in the latest Toy Story movie - loved his outfits, but not as much as he did - and in the end he really was a creep!

    ReplyDelete
  17. HAHAHAAHAH! I love the barbie party! TOO FUNNY!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Jennifer - let me check on the sticker...

    Yes, I am all over a SUAR kitty cover. Every girl needs one.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Stickers. Awesome - I'm getting 1 for the Barbie Jeep.

    ReplyDelete
  20. I have never seen so many Barbie's! Although I have to admit ken would have quite a few affairs with teh Barbie's I did have :-O Love that your sticker is world wide! Way to represent!

    ReplyDelete
  21. Thank you for putting Barbie in her place.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Did Q really write "you found a way to slip it in?" Sounds more like Ken's doing.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Kovas - I was kind of thinking the same thing. Unless he was thinking about you slipping something into the thermajock.

    ReplyDelete
  24. LMAO!!!!!!!! Funniest thing I've read today.. in fact, the whole month!

    ReplyDelete
  25. That picture with all those Barbies should come with a warning -- a little disturbing...just too much blonde "perfection" in one place! LOL!

    Yeah for 29 days!!!

    ReplyDelete
  26. That barbie convention was a little freaky to me...ha ha!

    That is so cool that your sticker is in Israel! Awesome!

    ReplyDelete
  27. I enjoy your blog. It was so funny. I know you are getting excited - only 29 more days.

    ReplyDelete
  28. doubled over from laughter right now. Boobs and Thermojock in the same post....LOVE IT!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  29. Hilarious! Good luck on your pool run!

    ReplyDelete
  30. Got my sticker today, thanks!

    Barbie IS a bitch. I've always thought so.

    I thought Ken was gay. Just sayin'.
    (Not your husband)...

    ReplyDelete
  31. I LOVE that SUAR is representing in Israel! Quite possibly the funniest post I've read in a long time!

    ReplyDelete
  32. Possibly one of your top 10 funniest posts... HILARIOUS... those Barbies are up to NO GOOD!

    ReplyDelete
  33. Yeah, watch out for that Barbie Army!!

    ReplyDelete
  34. Hahaha, nice post! And I know exactly what you mean with the injured-runner stir-crazy issue. That shit sucks!

    ReplyDelete
  35. I've never run anywhere except to the bathroom, but I love your writing - so funny! I'm a social worker too, and a little crazy because of it, I think. Since I sit on my butt all day and hardly move, I'm going to read your blog to get a little balance in my life, OK?

    ReplyDelete
  36. The barbies are all waiting for 29 freaking days!!

    ReplyDelete
  37. I love Barbie! And was never allowed to have one when I was growing up - can you believe it?

    That picture with the runner in Isreal is awesome! She's rockin the skirt, and it's not a typical running skirt - love it!

    ReplyDelete
  38. It makes my heart swell to be mentioned in this same post. I'm sure that the little man feels the same way.

    ReplyDelete

Note: Only a member of this blog may post a comment.