Tuesday night was the almighty marathon run on the Biggest Loser.
Even if you don't watch the show, you can appreciate this episode. People who were morbidly obese only three months ago train for and run a marathon. Although they’ve been working out hard for three months, they really only train for the marathon for about 15 minutes.
This is by far my favorite episode of the season. Anything with the word “marathon” in it gets my juices flowing.
Little House on the Prairie marathon on TV on Sunday? I’m in.
Marathon candy bar (chocolate and caramel goodness). I’m all over it.
Running a marathon, talking about running a marathon, watching other people run marathons, reading about marathons, dreaming about marathons – I’m there. All the time.
That is why last night I jumped up exclaiming, “It’s the marathon show! I love the marathon! I love everything about the marathon! I just love marathons! I love marathons!!” My family responded, “Uh, yeah, mom we know you do. Give it a rest. Go find a pool or something.”
This marathon episode started much like the others:
Contestants: “I couldn’t even walk to the refrigerator a couple of months ago and now I’m running a freaking marathon.”
Constantans: I just don’t know if I’ll be able to do it. I mean 26.2 miles. It’s a long way to go.
Jillian: This is going to kick their asses, but they’ll do it because I’ll sit on their heads (faces?) if they don’t.
Bob: Let’s get this marathon going all up in here.
Allison: Blah blah blah…weigh in…blah blah blah…yellow line…blah blah blah.
There was, however, one drastic difference in this season’s marathon. Someone took a dump. It was the nice Asian girl, Ada, who we are all rooting for because her parents never said they were proud of her and they think she is responsible for her brother’s death and we all know she’s not, but she blames herself and so desperately wants her parent’s approval.
So, here’s Ada, hammering it out on the marathon course. Just blazing along. Bob joins her for a spell and that’s about the time she tells him she has to go to the bathroom.
Bob: “Well, real marathoners just pee their pants.”
Ada: “It’s not pee I’m talking about.”
Oh, snap Ada! You are my people!
That’s when she makes the decision to hijack the migrant farmer’s porto. She goes in and lays one down. And it takes her…
Six freaking minutes!! She added six minutes to her marathon finish time with a crap. Gun time = 4:38. Gun time minus poop time = 4:32. I’m not sure if her parents would approve of that.
Here’s the thing. If I have to take a crap while running, it’s at the door, screaming. I can barely make it to the porto or bushes. It’s not the kind of thing where you leave the course, grab the newspaper and settle in for awhile. I don’t know what Ada was doing in there. Carefully wiping? She needs to learn skid marks are just par for the course.
Yes, she still kicked ass, finished first, and beat the best time so far on all episodes of the show. Even taking time out for a leisurely dump.
Ada’s got my vote,
PS: Don’t forget my ultimate giveaway
PPS: Seriously?? Please, someone get me to 1,000 followers before I pull “an Ada.”