News flash: Kelly Ripa has a stress fracture in her hip. I always knew were were soul sisters. Flat chested soul sisters.
I am off to see the King Tut exhibit in Denver today. With 150 7th graders. Hieroglyphics and hormones. Pharaohs and phuberty. You get the picture.
Through the whole exhibit I will be humming “Born in Arizona, moved to Babylonia…” Remember that song? Then I’ll raise my hands up and clasp them and move my head in a side to side motion. Like a true Egyptian. This will be a sure fire way for Sam to gain new friends and the attention of the girls. Nothing says chick magnet like a really uncool mom. Who runs in the water.
Best line: “He’s my favorite honky!” Don’t even tell me you’re too young to remember that. You suck. I’m old. I was 12 when it came out.
Field trips are okay. I used to love them as a kid because it meant soda with my lunch and a day of goofing off. I’m pretty sure I never learned anything. The only thing I remember from any field trip ever was when some kid from my class got left at the Air and Space Museum in Washington, D.C. Yep, that’s right. The school bus just left him. He’s probably still there, now 43 years old, wandering around aimlessly in the food court. Poor guy.
I’m not a big fan of chaperoning these things. I hate to ride the school bus and usually prefer to drive myself with my coffee and my Sirius XM (although now I’m a bit freaked out by that Starbuck’s secret camera at the drive thru. I might feel the need to moon at my next visit. Cracking myself up).
A couple of years ago I made the mistake of riding the school bus for a field trip with the fourth graders and got yelled at by the driver. It was an innocent enough mistake. A semi truck passed us and I did that honking motion thing we used to do as kids to get the trucker to *honk*. The driver yelled, “Hey you. Knock it off. You’re not allowed to do that.” What the hell? Kids cannot be kids anymore and it irritates me. Sure, if the trucker honked, what if some kid got wigged out and wet himself or choked? Or, what if the honking would distract drivers causing them to veer off the road? We live in a a world of “what ifs” instead of just living.
It’s all about safety these days. Bike helmets, car seats. Don’t even get me started on the leashes some parents use for their kids at the mall. I heard on the news last night that sledding is the new dangerous activity for our kids. Maybe we should just all stay inside on the couch. The world is a scary place.
Alright, don’t have a fit. I know all of these things serve a purpose. My kids always wear helmets. Even in the house.
I come from the no-safety generation. Hell, I fell out of the car once when I was two. No seat belt, no car seat. I was just rolling around in the back seat, my dad went around a curve, the door opened and *whoosh* I was out of there. My brother leaned up, tapped my dad on the shoulder and said, “Beth’s gone.” My dad found me laying on the side of the road, crying. That explains a lot, right?
Okay, off to the Tut,
Don’t forget my necklace giveaway! Ends 12/12.