Dead Santas

How’s your holiday shaping up? Around here, we put up the tree:

It’s alive. I hope I can keep it alive. I usually kill it in the first 24 hours then spend the next 20 days sweeping up pine needles.

And, then there are the ornaments. What a collection of odd little things. I guess that’s why I love them. They all symbolize something. You can learn a lot and I mean A LOT about someone by looking at their ornaments:

First year of marriage. Seems like eons ago (15  years). Why we are driving a car I’ll never know:

Homer Simpson. In his famous words, “I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming.”

The martini glass. You all know I’m a lush so no explanation necessary.

The kids (1, 4 years old). Collective “awwwww…”:

You know who we root for around here (bye, bye Josh McD)

No explanation necessary:

Me, before my first marathon (Rock ‘n Roll Phoenix ‘09) when I had brown hair and wore USA track suits:

The newest ornament was a surprise. Remember that crazy RV trip we took this summer? Well, somewhere along the way in some gift shop, the kids bought this ornament. They used their own money and kept it a secret until now. Damn secretive kids buying me gifts with their own money! I oughta…

Then there is the long procession of Santa photos on the mantle:

7 years ago the kids sat on the mean Santa’s lap. Just look. He’s a monster.You can tell Emma was nervous:

Funny thing about that was, later on that night we went to a Christmas party and that mean Santa was there, drunk, dressed in street clothes. No lie. I tried to shield the children.

Then, there is the nice Santa. This has got to be one of my favorite pictures ever. Sam at 3 years old:

Emma was checking out all these photos and talking about the “mall” Santas who we have already discussed are not real, just regular folk dressed up. She very thoughtfully said, “I wonder how many of these Santas are dead now?”  A touching Christmas thought.

And, now for the grand finale, the family holiday card.

This is the first year in the history of our family that a non-family member has made the card.

But, he’s Dean. Everyone will understand.

How’s your holiday decorating shaping up? What do your ornaments say about you?

SUAR