Tuesday, December 28, 2010

Happy Boobs

Wow, it got all serious up in here yesterday with talk of injuries and American Idol and beating up bitches in alleyways. By the way, did you know I was injured? Because I never talk about it. Did you know I ran with Dean K.? Because I never talk about that either. I am going to have a whole post devoted to things I never talk about. Sharts might be #1. Sarcasm, #2. Or maybe #2 should be #2?

So, lets lighten the load. I don’t often copy stuff that I think is funny from other places (preferring to just resort to farts and dumping to make you smile), but this one from HERE was just too good (thanks Badge Runner for the head’s up on this blog). Be sure to click on happy boobs (as if the guys didn’t go right to happy boobs before they read even one other word contained in this post):

Murphy’s Law of Running:

  • Your chances of an injury rise proportionally with the amount of the entry fee you just paid.
  • If a race brochure says “no dogs or strollers,” you will see a dog get hit by a stroller.
  • You will set a PR the day your chip falls off at the starting line.
  • If that cute guy/girl is checking out your butt, it’s because you split your shorts.
  • You will apply Vaseline to your back and BenGay to your … chafed areas.
  • At Mile 24 of your marathon, the aid station will be handing out espresso-flavored Clif Shots.
  • Your finish line photo will show you with happy boobs … and you’re a guy.
  • After waiting in line for 45 minutes, your Porta-Potty will be out of paper … and seat covers … and then the lock will jam.
  • As you sprint to the finish you will be nosed out by a 10-year-old girl.
  • Medical research will reveal that eating half-bananas causes sterility.
  • You win the Boston Marathon and find someone else is wearing the laurel wreath.
  • You’re mistaken for an elite runner, but it’s Secretariat.
  • You set the alarm properly, eat a sensible breakfast, stretch, warm up, pack your gear, and get to the starting line in plenty of time … because you forgot the race is tomorrow.

I’ll end with this. Best quote of the day. Last night I was telling my brother and sister in law how expensive the whole Boston thing is. Airfare, hotel, race entry, beer. Ken said, “That’s why you better win the damn thing!”

Never been in a porta potty that did have paper,

SUAR

33 comments:

  1. Strange! I was just reading that Murphy blog about an hour ago...

    Pass by:
    10-year-old girl, yes. 95 year-old-man, yes.

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  2. So funny. Thanks for the laughs.

    I thought those other people were just out there to help show me the way?! I was supposed to try and BEAT them?? Great, now I'll have to try! ;-)

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  3. They have seat covers in porta potties... I've NEVER seen that. All I know is that it is really hard to "hover" above the seat after a race.

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  4. Can't WAIT for you to win Boston! Then I'll be able to say I knew her when.

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  5. Those were great! My Dad thinks it is so peculiar that I'm routinely passed by old people, severely overweight people and old overweight people.
    I tell him it's all in training. They obviously train better than me :-)

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  6. Ha, oh this is hilarious! Many a running friend will relate to at least ONE of the above, if not all.

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  7. Damn, you mean people are laughing at my happy boobs?

    Just kidding. Sort of.

    Winks & Smiles,
    Wifey

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  8. My double-bra killer-combo eradicates all chances of visible happy boobness... but believe me when I say my boobs are way happy in there, just no one can tell but me ;-)

    So I've been wondering... do you wear the white undies with the swimsuit to increase drag and build strength? lol or is it a modesty issue? ha ha

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  9. Murphys law stuff is great, and seriously people should stop staring at happy boobs, they aren't all that happy. trust me.

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  10. This just made me really paranoid that all of these things will happen to me during my marathon in a couple weeks! Yikes!!

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  11. This is hilarious. thanks for the laughs!

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  12. love it!! missed your posts while i took the week off from blogs!

    i agree, boston is expensive. and wait till we get there and want to buy all the cool stuff.

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  13. I loved your choice of words "So, lets lighten the load"

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  14. We need to start a site directed directly at race directors (say that 3x fast) because of this:

    At Mile 24 of your marathon, the aid station will be handing out espresso-flavored Clif Shots.

    Who thinks this is a good idea? Isn't the marathon tough enough? Isn't Mile 24 hard enough?

    Seriously, the only thing that could make that worse is to have mile 24 at the bottom of a 2 mile climb to the finish and only Espresso at that mile marker.

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  15. I have a BINGO list for 5ks that I wrote down somewhere, but it includes a guy pushing a stroller who is still faster than me, and a big pile of dog shit that (almost) everyone avoids.

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  16. haha too funny! I always seem to get passed by 80 year old men in the last mile of a race :-/

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  17. that's a pretty freaking sweet quote. i had a girl last year ask me if i was going to win boston. i told her "yeah watch for me to break that tape".

    i now expect you to ;)

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  18. Stroller runners scare me. They are FAST. Same with their dogs.
    Quite enjoyed the list, thanks for posting!

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  19. I stopped categorizing the people who pass me in my first marathon. I got passed by a guy breathing through a tracheotomy hole. More power to him, I say.

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  20. My first thought as well: port o pots are supposed to have paper? Who knew?

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  21. So funny! Looking forward to hearing about you winning Boston! ;)

    The stroller running over the dog...hilarious! (well, not hilarious if it really happens...) Especially since I mentioned you on my run this morning...and dogs, and strollers.

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  22. love it. the next worst thing after someone asks if you're going to win or if you've ever won is when you say no and they have almost a disgusted look on their face. really?

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  23. what I found most hilarious is that in happy boobs, the chick's eyes were blocked but the rest of her body and face were clearly visible..not to mention HER NAME on her bib! so much for keeping her identity totally secret. sorry chick! your happy boobs are famous!

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  24. Beth, here's a Boston tip: Get to the Athlete's Village early - the porta pottie lines are insane ... and don't forget toilet paper!!

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  25. Thanks for sharing! happy tuesday!

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  26. Hilarious! And so true! I am totally going to bet on you for the WIN at Boston! :)

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