Thursday, November 18, 2010

Compromising Positions

For all of us girl suckers who just want to be adored and taken care of by our man, Jason’s comment on yesterday’s post will get you all in a tizzy. He said,

“What occurred to me today is that no matter how bad a day I have had, my wife may have had it worse so I need to be on my best behavior when she gets home and make it comfortable for her.”

Is it just me or is this the true definition of love? When we stop focusing on ourselves and take a moment to think what someone else might need. Big time points, Jason. BIG.

So, we all know how supportive the runner-blogging-world is.  Case in point, I got a gift in the mail a couple of days ago from Ms. Emz. Just because. You know how I love those “just because” moments. When someone does something kind for you with no hope of personal gain. We all need to do one “just because” a day and things might be a bit brighter.

The gift was the famous I Want You to Want Tee from Punk Rock Racing:

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Only, I’m not going to pretend to look near as good as Emz does in the shirt. Mostly because I don’t have that sweet belt buckle and I don’t have those long gorgeous legs.

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I had to add a little something to make the shirt more legit for me:

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So, here’s how it went yesterday when I wore the shirt. You knew there had to be a story, didn’t you? I’m nothing but a boring housewife without my stories.

First let me say, I don’t know how I always seem to find myself in compromising positions. It’s been this way my whole life. I go about my days, feeling pretty confident, then *BAM* I get reminded that I was put on this earth to be laughed at (in a good way).

There was the time I overflowed the toilet.

And, the time I fell off the treadmill.

Or, the time I crapped in a tree.

Don’t forget the time I wore the security tag.

And, there have been countless other incidents involving unexpected farts, a spontaneous puke all over my boyfriend’s bed after a night of imbibing (college), my bathing suit top falling off in front of my boyfriend’s family (different boyfriend).

If anything ever happens to Ken I’m going to have a hell of a time finding a date after this post. Unless you’re the type who goes for a woman who pukes on your bed, overflows your toilet then tops it off with a delicate fart.

Yesterday, I went to the gym and actually got on the bike for the first time since the injury. It was only 30 minutes, but it didn’t involve a pool and I was psyched. I got dressed again in my new shirt and headed to Starbucks because this is what I do after workouts as my prize. I was feeling pretty sassy, knowing everyone was checking out my shirt (fantasy world). I ordered my Grande Christmas Blend and headed over to add the cup of half and half that I always put in my coffee. I like to call it half and half with a splash of coffee.

As I stood there, I realized this.

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Yeah, that’s right. My fly was open the whole time. Since I left the gym. Zoom in and you’ll see what I’m talking about. Someone should have yelled, “XYZ PDQ!” (examine your zipper, pretty darn quick) like they did in grade school.

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It’s always a good lesson in humility to be me.

Funny thing was, later on I went to the groomer (because a one eyed, three legged dog with an erection problem needs to look good too), and the zipper was down again. I don’t seem to learn. I wish I could blame it on the pants, but they’re not those pants that that zipper that always falls down. It’s just me.

Keeping it in my pants,

SUAR

PS: I’m working on a very special water running video for you, so visit back.

47 comments:

  1. All these are reasons I'm so glad I found your blog!! PS - you and EMZ are equally awesome and hawt.. she may have the belt buckle but YOU have the open zipper my friend. Embrace it.

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  2. That is the true definition of love.
    That shirt looks banging on you and I am glad your workout didn't involve water yesterday. Thanks for the links to all of your other embarassing stories, they made my morning. Your zipper must be broken or you are just becoming forgetful without running:)

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  4. Classic!!

    Thanks for saving me the trouble of zooming in.

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  5. HILARIOUS... I am not sure you can get much better than this.... keep trying though.

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  6. I don't know why, but I always have my zipper down, too. I'm learning.

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  7. LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!! I was loving the post then that picture appeared!! I'm sooo laughin!!!

    Have an awesome day!

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  8. OK, let me say that every single time I crap in a ditch during a run, I think about you. Honestly. And it makes me not care if anyone happens to walk buy. Love the shirt! And your legs are just as great as EMZ's

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  9. Awesome! This doesn't happen when you wear yoga pants every day like I do. :) All your past blog stories are on my list to read today. I just left a long comment on here about farting in the classroom (as a teacher) and then realized how random it was since this post has nothing to do with farts...looking back on your older posts made me think of it. Anyway, love the shirt! Thanks for your sweet and encouraging comment on my post yesterday!

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  10. You
    are
    so
    freaking
    awesome.

    You are smokin hot girl.
    You are rockin' that shirt way better than me.

    YTB.

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  11. Now you just have to finish the Leadville 100 to get that belt buckle the size of a dinner plate they give!

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  12. YEAH!! that is just too cool for school that EMZ sent that t your way;-) love it..just because...i'm stealin' that one man!

    and girl, you look just as hawt as her in it too, unzipped pants and all

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  13. I try and make this one of my top 5 blogs to read in the morning, just knowing I get to laugh at some other person that does stupid things to sabotage there refindness (word ? I don't know).Anyways always a pleasure to laugh at you.

    p.s. those are sweet ass shirts. And U ladies wear them well.

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  14. you both look great!! no worries on the zipper!! way to roll with it!

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  15. Jason: you rock. (thanks for pointing out when someone leaves a bombass comment - I like people like that!) Beth: again, you're hilarious. Ooohhh middle school, "XYZ!" I've been there. Said that.

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  16. I snorted at your "Water" photo. Thanks. You are so funny, in a good way.

    I just realized that now I have a one eyed cat, okay soon to be one eyed. Now it's one and a half eyed. Great now I sound like one of your stories but not nearly as funny!

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  17. i came to work before w/ a dryer sheet stuck to my back. that sort of sucked.

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  18. That shirt looks great on both of you. You certainly could both run circles around me.

    Congrats on getting on the bike. Just another step in the evolution towards you owning the streets of Boston. Keep rocking that rehab!

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  19. <3 the shirt! Emz is awesome:) I had a pair of underwear fall out of my pant leg at work one day...guess they got stuck in the dryer and I missed it when I hung them up!

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  20. I am literally laughing out loud right now! I totally needed this today :)

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  21. Cool shirt! I actually did a similar thing for a party I recently went to. Drawing waves was a nice touch on the nametag...just another idea for ya later!

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  22. That's hilarious. Though, chances are nobody was looking at your crotch. ;)

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  23. Thanks for the shout-out and boy I needed to be on my best behavior as Karen (wife) fell down running yesterday (again) but this time it was caused by a car not coming to a complete stop.

    After laughing (inside my head) I took a look at her and told her she was NOT MARCIA, MARCIA, MARCIA. Got the ice pack for her and enjoyed our evening with Chico (step-son)

    I have to say that girls who crap in trees are awesome. A real person.

    I am also sending you my pic of my Runner shirt from EMZ and PRR....and I look nothing like either of you but I do have a belt buckle.

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  24. bahahah. you are so lucky to have found ken. i need to find a guy like that pronto. what a keeper

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  25. I discovered my zipper down at work half way through the day.

    I am a new follower. Your overflowing toilet story REALLY brightened my day. I was laughing so hard. Sorry your embarrassing moments bring me smiles.

    By the way, I love your blog.

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  26. The good news – Thanks to this shirt I now have another awesome blog to follow.

    All the best,

    Ron

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  27. Why would a stripper even need a zipper?

    (Poetry courtesy of Scatalogical Productions, Inc.)

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  28. We would expect nothing else of you! Nice work.

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  29. I read this post, glanced down and saw that my zipper was also down. Stupid cheap dress pants...

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  30. I looooove that shirt!!
    Yeah, hopefully they were too enamored with the shirt that they missed the pubes poking out :)

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  31. Better to do things half-mast than half-assed.
    You kill me.

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  32. Love it! I bet everyone was too distracted by the shirt to notice!

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  33. Hahahaha, great post. LOVE THAT SHIRT TOO! I am so not embarrassed by the zipper being down by any means after a potentially high school career ending moment in class. I stood up in the front of the class giving a speech and noticed the entire class staring and pointing. Being a girl, I thought the worst: my period had started. When a friend finally told me what was going on I was relieved. What could have been mortifying ended up as just a zipper down. No biggie after it turned out not to be that bad.

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  34. I actually took a photo of myself wearing the same shirt. Now I will have to re-shoot!

    Emz= sweet belt buckle
    SUAR = open fly
    Julie = ???

    Any ideas?

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  35. Awesome shirt! I'm so jealous that you got it!

    Your story totally cracked me up and your pictures are hilarious!! :)

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  36. too funny! i just got my first punk rock racing shirt too! <3

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  37. Yep, you rocked the shirt. Own it.

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  38. I haven't heard XYZPDQ in ages!!!
    You look mighty good in that shirt!

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  39. Oh but you do have the famous EMZ abs so knot that shirt up and nobody will pay any attention to your fly!

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  40. haha love it! That is one of my FAV shirts every to wear!

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  41. You look fab in the shirt. Just go with open zipper look...it'll catch on in no time.

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  42. Ah!!! It was the week for unzips. I stood in the preschool pick up line talking to the dad of one kid and granddad of another with my fly open the whole time. Dork.

    You look great in the tee!

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  43. I did that at a funeral. Went to the bathroom when I got to the church, didn't notice my fly was down until I got back to work. Black pants, pink undies and none of my friends "noticed". Hopefully no one else did either!

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  44. That is my favorite shirt, too! You look way hotter than me, though!
    I often buy shoes that I like in multiple colors. I have been known to miss match the colors before - more than once! LOL!
    Glad you're on the PxRxRx Team!

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  45. You and EMZ both look smokin in that shirt! About what I'd expect from the two "best Ab" bloggers! :)

    Too bad it's not waterproof for you to pool run in! I wear my boston hat when I pool run, so people know it's not their grandma's aqua-aerobics... ;)

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