Today is a day I don’t like very much and I’m pretty sure if I could just go for a run it would be all or mostly better.
But, I can’t. So, I will wait three more hours until happy hour and have a margarita.
It all started at 1:45 a.m. last night when Sam came in feeling sick. Fortunately not the kind of “let me vomit all over your bedroom floor while I tell you I feel sick”, but more of a sore throat, icky, headachy thing. After Motrin and consoling, he went back to bed, but I didn’t. I was awake until 3:00 a.m. Why is it so hard to get back to sleep anymore? Is this an age thing?
Morning comes. Sam will stay home. I am off to work on a disturbing case involving child abuse and issues that no kid should ever have to deal with. A child should always be allowed to be a child and should never ever have to be afraid in their own home. A kid should never have to tell a social worker that he has been waiting a long time for someone to rescue him.
I came home to a lethargic Sam. I know kids get sick, but I hate seeing my kids down. I cancel plans we had tonight.
I check on the order for the custom-made water bottles for Emma’s end of year soccer party that are supposed to arrive today. Party is tomorrow. I paid an extra $25 for overnight shipping to get them here in time. They were sent three-day, not overnight. They will be here Tuesday. Kind of defeats the purpose when the girls won’t have them at the party after their last game.
I want to cry. Over water bottles. That’s how I know something’s off.
This is all just life stuff and not really all that important in the grand scheme of things (except, of course, the child abuse thing. That is HUGE in the grand scheme of things). I think, however, this series of low events comes on the heels of me not feeling not myself for a month now. I can handle life’s hiccups much better when there’s balance. Work and play. Running and recovery. Sleep and awake. Cupcakes and broccoli.
Speaking of broccoli:
But, our reality is that things get out of whack. For all of us. It might be an injury, the death of a loved one, the loss of a job, the illness of a child. Our challenge is to learn how to live in a new normal. Most things in life that are tough do not have a quick fix. Some have no fix at all. That means we need to work on acceptance.
So much of our suffering comes from resisting what is, instead of surrendering to it.
We don’t, however, have to roll over and play dead. The fine line is knowing what we can change and what we can’t. If it’s out of our control, it’s time to let go trying to fix it and get busy trying to change our outlook.
If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it. ~Mary Engelbreit
What’s your Achilles’ heel, that thing you need to stop fighting and need to start accepting?
Written from the heart,