Stole Your Penis

Don’t say I never give you good news.

If you are a lost soul and are just now tuning into my blog, I was diagnosed with a hip stress fracture a month ago. Read it and weep HERE.

Saw the doc today. Praise the Lord I am down to one crutch. I can still push small children and pets out of the way, but I can also hold a cup of coffee or a shot of grain alcohol.  My blood work was normal.

My good hip shows the start of osteopenia (stage before osteoporosis, not something to do with stealing your penis – get it? I steal yo penia. Say it fast). Not sure how much the stealing penis thing  could have contributed to the fracture, but it’s a possibility.

Biking can start in about a week when I ditch the crutch. MRI by the end of the year, which will hopefully clear me for running!!!!

I admit it when I’m wrong. I was wrong about water running when I said it was “easy.” That shit is hard if you do it the right way (that’s what she said). Using my new training plan, I’ve been getting in the deep end and doing intervals for about 30 minutes. I can actually feel myself sweating in the water.

It gets really interesting when the 9am old lady water aerobic class starts. They wiggle their way into the deep end, sighing about how cold it is and about how water isn’t what it used to be. I love these women. They talk of grandchildren and early bird specials and call me sweetie. This is my new pussy posse.

Today I went early, so no geriatric  support group. Just me bobbing around the deep end like a freak. I rigged my iPod like this so I didn’t fall asleep in the pool or slit my wrists from boredom. I felt very clever and I didn’t electrocute anyone:

I lost an eye in the water. Now I am like my dog:

Making progress,

SUAR