Rest time is over. Time to get off my skinny ass, which could become very large.
I am cleared to swim. Tomorrow I am meeting my daughter’s teacher (who also happens to be a swim coach and an awesome overall person) at 5:30 a.m. to test my hip out in the water. Then on Thursday I am going to try this thing called a “water running” class. You can also call it “running for the injured” or “aqua jogging” or “making running movements in an outdoor pool freezing your nuts off” (if you have them).
Yes, it is in Boulder at an outdoor pool. I am assuming it is a heated pool and hoping this is not one of those instances where I am making an ASS (out of) U (and) ME.
Here is the description:
Water running is an excellent way to work your whole body without the impact that happens with running on land. You use the resistance of the water to control the intensity of the workout. It can be a gentle recovery workout or a high-intensity aerobic workout. Because your whole body up to your shoulders is immersed, water running works your upper and lower body and is a great core workout.
I have bribed my friend, Joie, into going with me. She can help me with my crutches. We can laugh at each other. The class is an hour long and running in the water for that long should be quite a workout. Then we’ll go have donuts.
I just love the fact I can workout and pee at the same time. I will make every attempt to not poop. That would be really uncool. I believe a technical term for pooping in the pool is “AFR” (Accidental Fecal Release). This is what the lifeguards and those in the know call it. I learned this on Undercover Boss. Usually it is a child who does an AFR, but it could be me, who knows? AFRs happen to me on land, so why not in water?
Calm down. It’s a Baby Ruth. Didn’t you learn anything from the movie Caddy Shack? I am so bringing one of those candy bars to my pool running class. I’ll be the most popular one there.
You all know me. I will do anything to stay in shape and to be able to run strong again. Maybe I will fall in love with water running. Perhaps I will start running marathons in the water. Maybe I will run to Hawaii or something. Then do the Ironman. See? I still have goals for myself.
If you doubt the part about me having a fat ass, just look at Sam’s 13 pounds of candy. I eat it at night when he’s asleep:
One more thing I’d like to add. Below are the rejects from Sam’s candy bag. A sweet little old lady dumped a half eaten cookie and some peanuts into his bag. He said he didn’t want them. YES! More for me. I love cookies:
Hoping not to drown,