Never Going to Be Suave

Seriously, do you ever look at pictures of yourself and want to go back to bed?

I try so hard to be cool and coordinated and smooth. But, I’m not. My dorkiness gets the best of me every single day no matter how deliberately I try to keep it at bay. Every day is like the day in college where I clipped into my pedals on my bike thinking I was looking pretty studly and right in front of a front porch full of frat house boys I fell over. They laughed and went back to their beer bongs.

So, I’m giving up. I'm’ almost 44 and I’m never going to be suave, no matter how much of that shampoo I use. I’m going to start playing the “I’m dorky, so laugh with/at me card.” As if people weren’t already laughing.

I’m writing this water running article for Athleta. It will come out in the March newsletter when they feature water activities. I needed some pictures to go with it, so I enlisted my professional photographer, Ken, to take pictures of me at the pool. He’s cheap and agreed to do it if I made him pork green chili for dinner. We got a couple of semi-okay pictures, but you’re lucky you get to see the outtakes:

“Is that a turd I see on the bottom of the pool?”

Clearly I should be in a marching band. What the hell kind of form is that?

I so know what Rapunzel is going through. These long locks are ridiculous.

Do you have any Twinkies? Or are you just happy to see me.

A ten on the dork scale:

“Hey pussy posse members – can’t you see I’m busy? Go rinse your teeth.”

Gumby leg that should not bend in that direction. No, those are not bubbles coming out of my ass.

 

The suit, if you care, is this one from Athleta. It is a performance suit for swimming, running, paddling. Reversible (other side is a multi colored print), very comfortable. And CUTE, right?

I did get some good news today in an email from Run Reviews:

I'm very happy to have the opportunity to send you this email. Some time ago your husband sent us a nomination to include you for the Run Reviews 101 Most Influential Runners section.

We took time to read about your story and we were definitely impressed. The nomination was accepted and it was published on this page (together with the text your husband wrote about you). You can view it HERE.

Awwww! I’m not sure what kind of favors Ken is hoping for by submitting this, but he would have probably gotten them if he hadn’t used the picture of me in my swim goggles.

Married a keeper,

SUAR