Monday, February 21, 2011

Personal Acknowledgements

  • To the lady in front of me at the grocery store: The lines were six people deep. You had a huge cart full of groceries. I’m not sure why you chose to split your groceries into four different purchases, using four different forms of payment. But, thanks for giving me the extra 25 minutes while in line to read about Justin Bieber in People magazine. I’m just glad I didn’t get Bieber fever.
  • To the Egyptian man who named his baby “Facebook.” Mean, just mean.
  • To Dean Karnazes: Thanks for the email letting me know about your new Run Across America.

From Him:




I liked having personal notice.  But, I did see it all over the news. Wish you’d come through Longmont so we could rendez-vous like old times. Don’t even pretend it wasn’t as good for you as it was for me.

  • To my hip: Thank you you bad ass mother f*cker for letting me run 6.2 miles today. But, left glute, WTF? Don’t you start acting up too just because hip is playing nice.
  • To son, Sam: Thank you for rubbing your sister’s head today right after I painstakingly fixed her hair into a style she could live with and not whine about for the next five hours. Also, thank you for wearing your robe and aviators around the house because it makes me love you even more if that is possible. Look out Hugh Heffner. Sam’s coming to take your girls.


So, here’s the big question. Do you ever use the 15 item express lane when you have more than 15 items? If I have up to 20 I use it, especially if no one is in line.

What’s the funniest/stupidest name you’ve ever heard, besides Facebook?

Also, ever had a celebrity meet up or sighting?



  1. Well, it depends how you count the items. If I get 5 yogurts, do they count of 5 items or 1? I count them as one while my husband hides in embarrassment! But, if someone behind me has only a couple of items, I let them go in front of me!
    I am not into celebrities, unless they are blog celebrities:)

  2. Howdy to you today! Great run! I only use the 15 line if I have 20 or under also. I also figure that if I am getting two or three of the same item, that only counts as one item. But I also pay it forward by letting people go in front of me if they only have a few things and I have a bunch. Happy B Day to y-o-u!!

  3. Um no, I believe in Express Lane karma.

    And look at Sam Hefner. That guy is cooler than the underside of a silk pillow. Got his coolness from Ken, right?

  4. Living in LA I've have a number of celeb sightings, but never COOL ones. No, that's not true, I met Dule Hill (and by "met" I mean "yelled at frantically while unable to form sentences") in a gas station, and he's the co-star of my favorite show ever, Psych.

    I shook Tom Green's hand in 2001. That was weird. I've seen the dad from The Nanny and the dad from Boy Meets World in different places. I walked by Tori and Dean in Hollywood on the Walk of Stars. And I've been at the same party as Lizzie Caplan (Janise Ian from Mean Girls). Her sister was one of my bridesmaids.

  5. First, happy birthday! Tried to comment on that post, but blogger was being finicky. Just think, any marathon you run in the next 12 months will count for the next age group at Boston (and an extra 10 minutes, fwiw now.

    Sam is too cute.

  6. My mom is an OB nurse. We got to hear all SORTS of awesome names. My personal favorite is when foreign women think the english words for female anatomy is too beautiful to pass up.


  7. I never cheat the express lane. Let's see, famous people . . . I've briefly met (and always on account of one work situation or another) Stevie Nicks. Some soap opera star in the 80s I can't remember, Dana Carvey, Robin Williams, Carlos Santana, the drummer from Metallica, and many many people who think they're hotshit on a sausage because they've donated $$ to the hospital I work at. Carlos has very very soft hands.

  8. Don't even get me started on grocery store etiquette. I could do a whole series of posts on this topic.

    My personal favorite are the people that realize the forgot something, ask you to move your cart so they can "run" back and get it. They'll just be a minute they promise. 15 minutes later...

  9. I met Jake Gyllenhaal in 2005. Has it been that long?! 6 years already. Wow. I should post a picture of us on my blog. It's pretty awesome. Yeah I'm cool like that.

  10. 1. I try not to use the express lane if I don't need to...however if everyone in all the other lines has a family holiday worth of food and I have maybe 1/2 or 1/4 that even if it's more than express I'll use it. After all I still taking a short amount of time then the others. Funny story...Mom and I were at the store and I scanned my like 10 items before noticing I didn't have my wallet. Instead of paying for my stuff she decides to scan her stuff too. But she had like 50 items. It was so funny the machine kept having issues and everyone gave us dirty looks

    2. Names? Funniest ever "Orangejello" pronounced or-an-jello. B/c the woman craved orange jello the whole time. Also while at debate this weekend someone said they would name their daughter "Nativity" because it was pretty and religious. RIGHT.

  11. Yes I have and have apologized to the checker. But I don't think I have ever had more than 5 over the limit.

    Dumbest name...Virgania

    Met a couple Chicago Bears over the years...

  12. Names? For twins.. Thunder and Lightning... le sigh.

    your son is a cutie pie! ;-)

  13. Your Sam is awesome in this pic! I have a Sam too. A little younger. We call him Samuel. :) I sometimes welcome long grocery lines if I'm by myself because I rarely buy those magazines and find it a treat to catch up on mindless gossip sometimes. :) My brother and his Thai wife are naming their first born Independence...thank God they will call him Inde for short but still...oh well, I'll love him anyway! :)

  14. Name of the cashier at Wegmans: Porcocious

    I didn't want to stare but I had to check her name tag several times. Yep, P-O-R-cocious.

  15. Probably more often than I should on the express lane--especially when I have multiples of the same thing. I know those cashiers are capable of typing "6@" and then scanning the barcode. At whole foods I sort out energy bars by brand and flavor and a couple of them will scan EVERY bar. Sorry peeps behind me--I tried to make it easier for all of us.

  16. 9th grade Geography class I talk in rural NC in 1999... her name was: Shaquita-Boquesha Thomas.... NO LIE! We called her Shakiki (not sure why).

    Also, had a Misty Waters and a Navi Blue

  17. Happy Birf-day! Did you run out of 44 delightful things????

  18. thanks for the link..Dean is running in a town close to me this Saturday, I think I will go.
    cannot say no to this opportunity!

    Grocery thing: no I don't. I am a wuss and I don;'t want old ladies to yell at me

    Celebrity: well yes! it was all over my blog last week..I forgve you for not reading but yes I met Keith Urban 3 times and once with my whole family and our picture was in this week's Country Weekly.

    You can see it here

  19. Happy birthday, hot thang!

    I will use the express line if I have a number of items reasonably close to the limit. And I count multiples of the same thing (such as yogurts) as One Item, which may annoy others.

    I just saw the leader singer of Train here in Hawaii. Also, one of the Back Street Boys backed his chair into me at a NYC restaurant.

    I think your Sam and my Jacob are kindred spirits. Jacob is fond of wearing a fedora with his pajamas.

  20. I met Matt Damon at Hanalei Bay, Kauai and even had a conversation with him. For days after that we all sang Sarah Silverman's song....

    I know someone who named their kid Seven!

  21. I noticed the express lane in King Soopers now says "around 15 items." Can't really go wrong with that.

    I have a Texas friend who spent her summers in Breckenridge so she named her sons Breck and Ridge. Also, once met a little girl named Summer Camp.

  22. YAY 6miles!! WOOT, WOOT!!

    Grocery store.. uh no comment I would have lost it!!

  23. Yes, I do use the express lane when I have more than 15 items. Normally I have 3 kids with me, one of which is a screaming 2 yr old. It's the quickest way out. I have only had one person say something nasty to me about it and I offered to let them in front of me. I think most people want me out of there just as much as I want out by that point.
    Happy Birthday to You!!!!

  24. As a total rule follower I would NEVER exceed the express lane limit. Never.

    Weirdest names? twins:
    OrANjello and leMONjello
    Emphasis on the second syllable.

    Feel free to join me and countless others in the testy glute club...I swear it's always something.

  25. Only if I miscounted. And I never just put something on a random shelf when I decide that I don't want it anymore. I walk all the way back to where I found it. Facebook? Really? Does he already hate his kid?

  26. Debayba and Urine (pronounced you-rye-nee) are the best I can offer. Of course, Kleeshay is pretty awesome, too. Oh, and let's not forget Ahmunique.

    I never go over in the Express Lane. I'll put stuff back to be 'legal.'

    Celebrities? Well, there's always my Fidel Castro encounter ;-) But I also took skiing lessons with Jodie Foster as a kid (I doubt she'd remember ME), Elliott Gould is the father of one of my very best friends so I've hung out with him on several occasions, Juliette Binoche's daughter was in my oldest son's preschool class for a month while she was in town filming "Bee Season" so I passed her in the playground coming and going most days and even talked with her (oooooo)... that's all I can think of right now but there are more... I am regular shoulder-rubber, I am ;-) lol.

    Your son cracks me up! My kids adopt "looks" all the time... I love it.

    Wow! over 6 miles on your bad ass mo fo? Holy Geez!!!! Awesome!

  27. Not necessarily funny or stupid, but was just plain mean of the parents... my friend in elementary school had swim lessons with the Tree kids: Christmas (can't remember anymore if that was her middle name and her first was actually Merry) and Douglas Fir. No joke.

  28. Happy Birthday!!!!! And happy 6.2+ miles! :)

    Your son has got a long, entertaining life ahead of him. That is priceless.

  29. In Jr High, one of my best friends was Bambi. Her sisters were Dove, Fawn, and Robin.
    I guess that's not too bad, now that I think about it...

    Sam looks freakin' awesome! Too cool!

  30. I went to school with a guy named Pelvis. And, yes, if nobody is in line I cheat at the express lane - but I'm usually in there after working out, at about 6 am, and nobody cares.

  31. a guy I worked with had a friend who changed his name to Megatron...actually saw his drivers license to prove it! obviously, a Transformers fan...

  32. Happy birthday! Sam exudes some major coolness in the shades and robe.

    Worst name for lack of originality...
    pronounced: Feh-mal-lay
    spelled: Female

  33. @ Cindy - megatron!?! WOW. Speechless.

    Well my grandpa, dad and brother are all stuck with Ferdinand as their middle name. That's pretty stupid and horribly ugly.

    You and Dean are like BFFs. I am so jealous.

  34. Hi there;-)
    I wanna be on an personal email basis w/a cool famous runner!;-)
    and I sorta think facebook is a genius name.

    and you're the person I hem and haw over in the FIFTEEN item line!...;-) ;-);-)

  35. forgot the most important
    happy birthday!
    bonne fete!

  36. There is an etiquette to express lanes that one should never upset, or risk plunging us all into anarchy. This is true of many things ... like urinals.

  37. Yes I am guilty of using the express lane with more then 15 items...

    I saw Molly Ringwald when I was 15 in LA I thought it was pretty boss back then...

    When I was in a military hospital after given birth in 1990. The lady in the next bed thought the hospital had named her baby because it said FEMALE... That is the name she put on the birth certificate...

    Happy Birthday To You!

  38. My favorite name I came across in pharmacy was "Bang". When questioned the deep south country mother explained that she named her son after the singer, "Bang Crosby".

  39. Stupidest name I've heard recently is Syncere. And it's a boy....

  40. I would never, ever take more than the allowed number of items through a checkout, unless, and ONLY unless there is nobody in line, and the clerk says it's ok. And for things to be counted "as one" they have to be joined together. Thus the 12 little yogurts all packaged up into a box are one item. A bunch of bananas is one item. Two bunches of bananas now, is borderline. If it puts you over the limit, AND you don't have a nice smile, then you are guilty and you will burn in express line hell. 12 energy bars, even if they are the same kind, are 12 items, unless like the yogurt it is in a box. I firmly believe that the express checkout should have a spike in front of it, with the clerk authorized to behead people with too many items. The procedure is to write the number of items over the limit with a sharpie on their forehead, then jab the head onto the spike. For particularly odious people, we bypass the beheading and just put them on the spike. I trust I don't need to explain in any more detail than that.

    Fraternal twins. Daniece and Danephew. I found out later that their real names were Denise and Dan, but they were being raised by an aunt or something.

    I have a rant about celebrities but I won't bore you with it here. I take no account of "celebrities". I'll just say the world is almost certainly better off without them. Probably the most famous person I've ever actually talked to is Amos Garret.

  41. I once started a little shit in line at a Target b/c a lady had a full cart in the 10items or less line. AND she had a check book in her hand. I looked at the checkout lady and said, "are you F---ing s---ting me? Why even have this lane if she can f---ing come in here with a full cart?" People behind me chimed in and then a couple of managers where there and a security guy came over. A guy behind me was really pissed.

    Best part is one of my wife's coworkers walked by right as it was all starting. she still thinks I am an asshole.

  42. HAHAHA Oh god, where do I begin with names.

    There was a set of twins in my school named "Orengalo" and "Lemongalo".. like orange jello and lemon jello. True story. Another set of twins is Benji and Benjianna.

    I have a friend who knew someone named Abcde (pronounced ab-sidee). That's just a lazy ass parent.. "Ohh, I don't know what to name her.. how abouuuut.. Abcde." What's next? Lmnop? (El-muh-nop?)

    I also know someone who knew a J-a, pronounced J-dash-uh.

    People are craaaaaaaazy.

  43. OH!! And I've also heard of a Sexybeth, Sexy for short. There are no words.

  44. Love the robe look but love the 6.2 miles even more. The glute might be acting up b/c it hasn't been used (I think) like that for a while.

    I go in that line with 20 but only if the self-checkout is full.

    Not odd names but odd spellings of names like sean or shawn. All kinds of spellings now.

  45. I will use the express lane if I have a few items over the limit but only if there isn't anyone behind me.

    Stupidest name: La-a (pronounced La dash a) and ESPN -- yup, like the sports channel, pronounced like Aspen but with an e like in egg.

    Way to rock those miles!

  46. My husband is a songwriter, so here's my list of embarrassing celeb moments:

    1) I told John Kay (Steppenwolf, ya know, "Born To Be Wild")at a songwriter's party, that he had a great voice and should record an album (uh, I didn't know who he was until afterwards!!!)This is the one and only time my husband actually kicked me;
    2)Art Garfunkel called my house. To speak to my husband, who wasn't at home. I didn't hear who he was a first, and just thought he was some weirdo, and treated him as such. He said loudly at the end of the conversation "JUST TELL PIERCE THAT ART GARFUNKEL CALLED!!!". I peed my pants.
    3) Garth Brooks. He paid for my house w/ royalties from one of my husband's songs. I still don't like country music. Or my house, really.
    4) A crap-load of songwriters and performers and Al Gore.

    Im just a schoolteacher in Alabama.

    Oh, and I've had vodka on a Barnum & Bailey Circus Train w/ a Trapeze Catcher name Sergei. Im not sure that constitutes a celeb sighting.

    As for strangest name: Porntip Suksa Boomkok.
    We called her "Tippy".
    No joke.

  47. No, you will get dagger eyes from me and a lot of passive aggressive sighing if you have more than 15 items. Seriously!

    Best name? Mary Chris Smith. Say it out loud. It even has a lisp.

    And..; I lived in New Orleans. The place is lousy with celebs. The funniest was when my ex roomie carded Jude Law. What a prick! (Jude Law, that is). Made a scene, but the store policy required ID's with credit card purchases. Funny as heck.

  48. I was in New york for Business...had a very limited time to tour the city and was on Pacific time.. so at 11PM I set out from the Waldorf down to Tiffanys and back.. I FELL upon a red carpet event at Trump Tower for Trump Vodka.. it ROCKED.. I acted like papparazzi taking pictures of all the a, b and reality celebs.. Saw the Donald himself and Cuba Gooding Jr. SWEET!!!

    Names?? I played basketball against a girl names Sparkle... No joke..

    Hang in there with the injury lady..been there..

  49. 10K! Wahoo!!! Tell that glute to shove it!

    I use the self-checkouts exclusively now, even with a massive cart full of groceries. When it's busy I can tell people with only a few items get ticked off, but there are 6 self-checkouts so just go line up at another one!

  50. I met two brothers named Rhythm and Poetry, and my brother's ex had her name legally changed to Winnie de Pooh. Seriously!

    Too afraid of meeting a Keith in the express lane to cheat, but I'm with him on the celebrities.

  51. Holy crap...I love all the names. I was an EMT in chicago for a couple of years and the best names I heard were "Taquaria" (she said "I just kept seeing these restaurants with that pretty name) and "ABCDE" (the momma insisted on all caps, and pronounced it ab-sah-dee.

    I worked the night shift. go figure.

  52. I always abide by the item count for the Express Lane. I also always empty my basket onto the belt - former cashier here, biggest pet peeve.

    I have a friend who is French, her name is Luce (yup, say it "loose"). She always got a kick out of introducing herself to people because they would always double-take on her name.

    Celebrity sightings: Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz way back in 2003, Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell (both couples in Whistler), Kellan Lutz (Twilight) last year at Sutton Place Hotel in Vancouver, William Fichtner (Date Night, Armageddon) in Vancouver - my friends and I were trying to figure out who he was so I went over to tell him that we recognized him but couldn't figure out where we knew him from (he wouldn't tell me), after he left the bar we were at (I NEVER would have had the guts to go up to him sober) I figured it out thanks to

  53. The most ridiculous name I've ever heard of was from my husband. Some woman wanted to spell her daughter's name vagina, but pronounce it vayganay. Can you believe that?? What is wrong with people!

  54. I heard of a kid called Courvoisier. A lot of celebrities also give their kids ridiculous names (like Gwyneth Paltrow's daughter Apple).

    I do use the express lane if I have more than 15 items, but only one or two more than the max. I hate the self-checkout lines. The machine goes berserk if I put anything in the bagging area.

  55. Happy Birthday (tomorrow), Beth!!! Tara and I were talking about you at the pool today, were your ears ringing? :)

    Um, was that me in front of you at the grocery store? I usually have two separate orders, one for work and one for me and I have to forms of payment. If I could just get work to buy all my groceries, we'd be good but noooooooo!

  56. Stupid names - Ping Pong, Milk and Wood. They were all people from Thailand that my son met last month. Guess which one's the boy?

  57. Worst name I've come across A-a, pronounced uh dash uh. Not even joking.

  58. I now officially hate you. You have entered a group of people that I want to punch in the face. FOLLOW THE RULES!!!!!!!! 15 ITEMS OR LESS, not "and maybe a couple more". GRRRRRRRRR!

    I HATE grocery stores. No matter where you go, some old lady screws you over in the checkout line. The funny thing is, this was all planned, it was no happenstance that she showed up there with a bag full of pennies to pay for her moth balls and efferdent denture cleaners.

    As for your comment to me... NO, I emptied my tanks prior to class. After reading your posts on the Hot Yoga, I did not want to be "that guy". Maybe not on my first trip at least. HOWEVER, there were two distinguishable ass rippers in the class. I kept laughing like a little girl. God forbid I smelled anything... then it would have led to an absolute beat down. Farts are funny when you hear them... NOT when you smell them.

  59. Happy Birthday!

    I follow the grocery store line rules. Last thing I need is bad karma in a grocery store (you know, like getting a cart with a really annoyingly squeaky wheel, a hand basket with a broken handle or the bag with the eggs in it that rips...)

    Numerous celebrity sightings in the Boston area. A lot of films being made here now. In fact, "The Fighter" was filmed right in the town I live in. It was fun watching all the preparation that goes into filming.

  60. Happy Birthday btw!

    Yes, I will get in the 15 express lane with more than 15 and then I will count them out in front of the guy. I act like, "oh stupid me, I have more than 15." Then, I give him the pleasssseeeee look. THey always let me go. If there's people in the line, I don't.

    Jason Lee (my Name is Earl star), but he named his daughter (I believe) Pilot Inspector (the spelling is weird and I can't remember).

    But best name courtesy of Constanza (besides kristi) is Seven.

  61. I can't remember a time when I have EVER been through the checkout with less than 50+ items - we have 4 kids and darn if they don't all wanna eat! Every day!

    I once saw Robert Downing, Jr. at a local steakhouse when he was filming in the city. Is he still a celebrity?

  62. Audio Science has got to be the best childern's name ever, courtesy of actress Shannon Somasson(sp?) or Pilot Inspektor(with a K yes) by that guy who's name I'm regretfully forgetting from "my name is Earl"
    I can only dream for names like these for my future children. I'm thinking Cassette Tape is on my list of potential baby names. I've already named my cat Atari after a gaming system, I'm on the right path.
    As for lines, I try to never go in the 15 or less unless I have 15 or less, or if someone sees that I have like 17 items and says they can help me in that lane. I also am that person that if I have a bizzillion items and the unlucky person behind me as 3, I let them go ahead of me. I like that woman's type, four transactions, four method of payments, man, if I didn't think a mob scene would quickly ensue, or my Jimminie Cricket conscience wouldn't kill me, I'd totally do that.

  63. Sam looks like Hunter S. Thompson, not Hugh Hefner!

  64. I've never gone over the limit at the grocery store, but have been subjected to the multiple transactions per person ploy.
    Brushed shoulders with Patrick Dempsey at the Tour of California 2009-McDreamy he was.

  65. A guy I used to work with named his daughter Padme. I didn't think anything of it until I learned he'd named her after the Natalie Portman character in the (incredibly lame) new Star Wars movies. Who liked those movies enough to name a kid after one of the characters????

    I try to abide by the 15-item limit, but if I have 16 or 17 items I might try to sneak them in.

    Celeb encounters: as a business journalist 12 years ago I interviewed Martha Stewart. I thought she was a....not-nice person.

  66. Rarely use the 15 limit line, either do the self checkout or have a full cart. Just too many check writers or full carts in the express lanes these days.

    Celebs: Robert Redford and his daughter at the country store in Bailey, CO about 22 years ago(in the mountains where I lived at the time), we chatted about the bread. Got a big smile as they left, I wanted to melt.

    Buddy Hackett: What a great and funny guy. Was on business in Snowmass, CO and was in the bar with another co-worker waiting on the others for dinner. Buddy told story after story, we enjoyed the entertainment for about 30 minutes. His dinner date arrived and he left. We went to pay for our beers and found out Buddy had already paid for ours. Never saw that happen.

  67. As a teacher, I hear a lot of bad names. By far the worst in 10 years has been Taylor Taylor. That's right. Same name for the first and last name.
    And one that always made me laugh... J. Just the letter. I didn't believe it was his birth name until he showed me his birth certificate.

  68. Oh, and I've never met a celebrity. I thought I had met Ed McMahon at a Trader Joe's in my town. I didn't think logically about the situation (why on Earth would Ed McMahon be in a suburb of Baltimore?), and just ran up to this old man (who was NOT Ed McMahon) and said, "Ed McMahon, I love you. My mom and I spent so much time watching Star Search. She absolutely loves you and is going to be so jealous!" This old man looked at me and said, "Well, I'll be at your house tonight with a Publisher's Clearinghouse check." I ran home and posted on Facebook that I had just met Ed McMahon. Someone posted back that he died. So who knows who that old man was. Opps.

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