Sunday, July 10, 2011

I Did Not Climb that Penis

The margaritas by the pool yesterday might not have been a good idea. That situation morphed into 20 of us on an outdoor restaurant patio stuffing ourselves with pizza and Lefthand microbrews. A crazy Saturday knight for a bunch of 40-something parents.

I kind of sort of paced myself with the food and drink and figured I’d get to bed early enough to get up at 6:00 a.m. for today’s brick. The reality was my body was not happy with the mixture of alcohol and greasy pizza and I could not get to sleep. I watched the clock creep from 10:30 p.m. to midnight and on to 2:00 a.m.

The longer I was awake, the longer I thought, “NO! this can't be happening! I will not physically  be able to to do the brick without enough sleep!” Then all my freaking out would keep me from falling asleep and so went the cycle.

I got up and read emails. I got up and had a few Tums. I got up and checked on the kids, the dog. I worried about things I haven’t worried about in awhile. I kicked Ken when he started snoring and later at 3:00 a.m. he kicked me when I was at last asleep and snoring my ass off.

The plan was to ride for two hours, then run for one hour.  We rode up to Carter Lake which is about 17 miles northwest of town. To get up to the lake you climb for about 1,300 feet. Unlike the chart below, the climb did not look like an erect penis.

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We stopped at the top to take in the sites:

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I always say this: CO is a sucky, no good place to live.

I did much better fueling on the bike this week.

Before I left I had a huge PB&J sandwich (390 cals, 45 g carbs)

On the bike I had 1 cut up Powerbar (250 cals, 44 g carbs), 1 gel (100 cals, 25 g carbs), 24 oz of Cytomax (100 cals, 24 g carbs).

Before starting the run I had 1 gel (100 cals, 25 g carbs) and I had 10 oz of  Cytomax during (100 cals, 24 g carbs)

Total for three hours (not including breakfast):
650 calories
142 g carbs
68 oz liquid

Total brick - Bike: 34 miles in 2:01. Run: 6.6 miles in 1.0.

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Ken is telling me that I stink. I am telling him it’s his fault for marrying stink.

This was a good confidence builder for me. I felt really strong the whole time even with the steep climbing on the bike. The run felt almost effortless (except when it got really hot at the end) and I know I could have run 13.1 miles today if I needed to. I paced myself well, knowing I did not want to run out of steam or feel awful at the end and for the rest of the day. I hate those long run/workout days when your kids are orphans because you have been gone for hours training then you get home and you’re too tired to yell at them or braid their hair or go get ice cream.

Right now I feel like superwoman! Or at least pooper woman. During the run I reminded myself that 8 months ago I was still on the couch nursing a hip stress fracture and using crutches (I call them “crotches” because they stink and are ugly).

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Do you ever feel like a loser parent for doing long workouts then spending the day recovering? Typically my kids are just getting up when we get home (they’re lazy asses) so I don't feel bad for being gone. I do feel a tad guilty if I’m irritable or overly tired during the day. I try to make sure we will do stuff together. Like I lay on the couch and they rub my feet or bring me chocolate milk with a straw. That is together time, right?

When you can’t sleep at night, do you make yourself crazy because the more you can’t sleep the more you get stressed about not sleeping and then the more you can’s sleep? I’m a pretty good sleeper these days, but every once in awhile I get into that stupid cycle. Then I just take a bunch of valium with a  whiskey chaser and I’m good.

What do you grab right after a workout? For me – chocolate milk all the way. Tons of protein, some hydration, and some calories. Tasty too.

Ever climbed a penis? No comment.

SUAR

39 comments:

  1. Ha ha! The title of this post definitely got my attention. I hate it when I can't get to sleep. I try to read which usually does the trick.

    I love when my husband works out w me. He's fun.

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  2. Other awesome blog-hit-boosting title words are 'boob' and 'bitch'…but I don't think you. Need such sneaky help ;-)

    Sounds like you did climb that thing! Awesome job on your brick! And yes, I do feel guilty sometimes about how the workout may momentarily have a negative effect on my parenting, but that happens at most only once a week so I can let go of it pretty quickly.

    Enjoy you Sunday in beautiful CO :)

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  3. I do the no sleep, brain won't shut down thing all the time.

    Can't help but notice Ken's beverage placement. Not that I was looking.

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  4. Im a big choc milk recovery person. Love it and it works! I got into running so that I would Have more enErgy for my Kids and the irony is tHat i spend time recovering from rUnning while mY 3yo begs me to play puppet theater. I want to see if he likes ice baths.

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  5. I think that the negative effects of "neglect" due to working out/recovering are far out-weighed by the emotional benefits to my parenting. As a result of running I am happier, more patient, more fun, and overall a better parent. I wish I had known this when my kids were much younger (they are 8 and 10 now) but better late than never.

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  6. Alecia - you are one very observant woman. LMAO.

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  7. Nice penis, er, brick! Especially after little sleep.

    I occasionally get some guilt if i do a long workout and then need to nap later in the day. But I also get going really early so I'm not missing much and Todd is always here when I'm doing this, so the guilt is very short-lived.

    And i can do insomnia better than anyone!

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  8. I feel really mean and cruel and awful for ignoring my kids, so I go buy a gallon of ice cream for them. Then I remember that I don't have any kids, so I eat all the ice cream myself.

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  9. Nice climb?! :)

    I do love me some chocolate milk after my run. My kid drank the last of it before I got home yesterday. Dad was not happy!

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  10. Can you recalculate your calories for me? You have 24oz of Cytomax as 100 calories on the bike but then again under the run you have 10 oz listed as 100 calories as well.

    By the way training on little to no sleep is actually not a bad thing b/c on race day you may not have slept well and thus will be racing on little to no sleep.

    Congrats on a successful brick workout....now go take a shower.

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  11. yesss - not just a loser but guilt b/c i work out and then i want to relax and i feel like a horrible mom

    recovery - love my shaklee physique powder - mix with water and yum and quick and easy

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  12. @ Jason: that's b/c I used the same amount of cytomax, just in less water. forgot to add that.

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  13. Assuming you got a good nights sleep the night before, having a rough night prior to a big workout or race is usually doable.

    Good job!

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  14. Penis climbing...great way to spend time. Wow, Beth, as someone who is on a total break right now, this just sounds like crazy talk. You're amazing. And yes, I do feel guilty sometimes, especially since my husband is into running now too and has his heart set on a BQ so one of us probably needs to take it easy for the sake of our little kiddos ...3 of them 6 and under. When they get older it will be way easier. :)

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  15. I climbed about 4 penis today..it sucked! I hear you on the pacing. Even though I was HOT AS HELL I def think I could have run further. Learning to run in this heat is all about pace. I constantly feel guilty, our Saturdays are burnt up with training.

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  16. Wow! Great brick workout :) I would love to have places like that to bike :) Can you do a post about your bike and if you like it ?

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  17. You crack me up.

    And you're awesome. Nice workout!!!!

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  18. Great workout as usual! Now more importantly, what is the shirt you are wearing on the bike? Brand?

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  19. DDVMM: It's Yellowman brand. They sell it at Athleta.com. It's one of my favorites b/c it is very light compared to some of my other jerseys.

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  20. Wow... Can't believe you still got up and did it! Way to rock it out!

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  21. Nice job with your brick! Woohoo!!

    With my ironman training I find myself being away from my kids more than I would like. But, I always try to do my workouts super early so I'm not gone ALL day! It's definitely hard to try to balance it all!

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  22. Looks like sleep deprevation is your key to killer workouts!! :) Nice job to you and Ken, that is fantastic and more so, I'm really excited that your head's back in the game and you're feeling strong!

    I'm a horrible sleeper, especially this summer. I can fall asleep fine, it's when the clock strikes 2am that I'm wide awake for hours. I try hard to go to that "happy place" and not stress about my life...not always easy but if I can get there, it definitely helps!

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  23. Okay, I too was a sucker for the title of the post. Very Funny! Being a teacher I see a bell shaped curve, but what fun is that?

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  24. This is my first summer as both a parent trying to train for a marathon. I do feel a little guilty sometimes. I usually get my workout in before he is up, but I definitely spend a chunk of the day recovering and feel bad.

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  25. Great post (as usual). Great workout...amazing.

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  26. I hate those nights where you can't sleep. But the thing keeping you awake, is the fact that you are thinking about not sleeping. I start negotiating with myself, which turns in to a fight and then I'm up even more (now, just angry about it).

    And I think any woman who has ridden a man...oh nevermind. Maybe!

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  27. I am amazed at your ability to rally for a hard workout regardless of circumstances - margs, wine, no sleep, anxiety, tummy troubles. I have trouble sleeping too and will use this post as inspiration to get up and get to it even on little or no sleep THANKS. Love ya.

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  28. CONGRATS on the big workout - you totally nailed it! You must have your hydration & nutrition figured out to feel so good on the run.

    And YES I get so stressed out watching the minutes and hours tick by when I can't sleep. It's a vicious cycle!

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  29. Beth you have been married long enough to know that if you would have climbed the snoring penis you would have fallen right to sleep you silly woman. Next time, climb!

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  30. OK, I have to ask...do you make your own chocolate milk, or buy it pre-made? I love me some chocolate milk, but I like to make mine and have no idea what the optimal "recovery" chocolate milk proportions should be.

    As far as penises, I'd say that if we have children, we have indeed climbed a penis. I don't think any of us are Virgin Marys. Just sayin'.

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  31. Insomnia is the WORST!
    You rock for getting up and doing the brick anyway.
    I also hate Colorado and don't wish I were there not climbing penises with you. Not one bit.

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  32. @Amy - I buy mine from the milkman or use "Rockin Refuel" by Shamrock Farms (it has higher protein than regular). As far as measurements go, I don't think it matters - the point really is the milk itself since that is where the protein is. Just mix it to where you like the taste and chug!

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  33. Yeah, sometimes I feel a bit guilty, but not that much. Parents have lives too.
    I hate falling into that no sleep cycle. I had one of those Saturday night. SUCKED.
    The most kick-ass post long workout refuel: skim milk+chocolate muscle milk+chilled coffee.

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  34. Great job on the fueling!! I should take a page from your book. My daughter is almost 2, so I definitely feel guilty when I walk in the door all disgusting and exhausted, and all she wants to do is play.

    I can't sleep at night, but I'll turn on the History channel and fall asleep to Egyptian excavations.

    Right after a workout I grab is penis. Wait... I think I confused the last two questions.

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  35. Reading your blog is always a treat, and, I do so more because of your authentic, comedic voice more than to learn how to train for an athletic event, although you do inspire me. In fact, I took a run and then got on my bike this Saturday and I affectionately blame this on your blog. I'm not going to report to anyone the tiny distances I completed in either, as not only might it be pathetic, but I think that before I was born and God or whomever was handing out the trait of competitiveness, I was clearly off somewhere having a glass of Chardonnay, as that's one of the few things that serve as motivation...

    Which leads me to my point - I have to behave on nights when I cannot sleep in, (have an early morning meeting or a workout planned) as wine will wake me up in the middle of the night and then I can never get back to sleep until it's time for the alarm. This happens regardless of how little I drink (1 glass), or the water I use to compensate. I'm glad you were able to power through your brick regardless of lack of sleep, it's most impressive.

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  36. What an awesome brick!! You will just crush this half in Boulder my dear :)

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