10 Ways I Break the Rules, Part II

You may have seen the first installment of 10 Ways I Break the Rules in March. Turns out I am such a rule breaker that I have a Part II:

1. I go through the express lane with more than 15 items.
2. I bring my own food and drink into the movies. I’m not paying $10 for Hot Tamales when I can get them for $.89 at the gas station.
3. I eat items from the bulk bins while shopping. I love nuts (TWSS).
4. I have my Garmin on auto pause, so my total run time doesn’t include stops for lights, craps and pulling out wedgies. Unfortunately, auto pause Garmin time doesn’t work in a race.
5. I use coupons that are expired because some stores don’t notice or care.
6. I lick knives.
7. I take stuff off the cleaning carts that are in the hallways of hotels. Just extra shampoo and coffee and maybe a pen.
8. I always go through yellow stop lights.
9. I have been known to talk on my phone while driving, but I don’t text or apply makeup or write long essays. Picking the nose is optional.
10. This one is my favorite: If I go to Vegas and there is a huge check in line for the hotel, I go to the check out line (which is usually much shorter). When I get called to the counter I say, “I’m here to check in.” They invariably say, “Oh, I’m sorry you're in the wrong line.” Then I say, “I’m SO sorry. Let me change lines.”And, they always say, “Oh, it’s okay I can help you here.”

I am a terrible, bad, dishonest, immoral person. But, I have never been arrested and my children are still in my custody. I don’t believe I’ve ever killed or maimed anyone.

How do you break the rules?

SUAR